Help! I was too nervous during my interview

[OliverR]

Hey guys,

I was called for an interview in downtown LA in one of the big white buildings at a medium sized company. I'm extremely confident in my experience in finance. I recently graduated with a finance degree with over 2.5 yrs of experience doing sales, underwriting, tax analysis, and accounts payable, which is rare for a recent grad to have.

I showed up 15 min. early and I was so nervous. I was reciting what I should say the night before. I was so excited because I had the potential to be hired. Which meant I would begin to earn a true living in the real world. That meant I could live on my own, buy a few more things like a T.V. or laptop, and maybe a new car. When the interviewer closed the door, I choked.

I kept thinking too much. I was focused on trying to impress them. I have been searching for a position since December 2008, and after 2 1/2 months, I get a call. The job market was so hard that I thought: "I better not mess this up, because if i do, I'll have to wait longer for the next opportunity."

I was so focused on trying to say the "right words" that I wasn't able to truly speak from the heart. The interviewer was so nice and laid back. He saw right through me and said, "I can tell this is the 'filtered-you'. I'm pretty sure you are different in real life, but there's more to you." I was so glad he saw through my nervousness, and he said "I like where your coming from and what I see." He said this twice. He told me to try and relax next time. As he walked me to the elevator to see me out I asked what the next step was after this interview. He told me there is usually another interview or maybe two at the most and then they would pick the right candidate. As the elevator came he said that he was pretty sure I might be seen for a second interview.

So guys, I was overly excited and anxious that I might get a job, earn a decent income, and beat this recession. I have some family issues at my house, and to move out and start on my own would make me extremely happy. I wanted the job so bad, and I felt like this was the only chance I had or else I wouldn't be called to interview for another year.

I already sent a thank you letter, and since he was down to earth with me, I spoke in a down-to-earth tone with him while still being able to keep it professional.

What should I do next? Do you think I may really get the second interview? I'm going to continue to keep applying to other places, but I really want this job. What should I do to make sure things go well next time? I believe that I shouldn't prepare at all, because no script means I will be talking from the heart. Any suggestions?

[SimonaRich]

It seems that you are pretty desperate to get that position. You come from insecurity and scarcity mindset. And they will notice that, but if they come from the same mindset too, they will relate to it.

It is wrong to say that it is hard to get jobs because of the currect economic condition. It is for some ,but it does not have to be for you. Every person is different, and if you focus only on good things in life, you will get good things in life in return.

However ,if you focus on how bad life is and that we are running out of resources, your life experience will bring back such things too.

You should understand that there are more than enought job openings every second, and it just depends on your mindset if you are going to get the one you like.

[magi13]

my law professor tells me one thing. Be prepared or over prepare, then be confident and observe your client/interviewee or the court. practice it all the time and you'll do good.

[Gemini15]

Don't be too hard on yourself, you probably were better than you think. The interviewer appeared to like what you said and could see you were desperate for the job. Better that than someone laid back.

You seem to have a lot going for you ie good academic background combined with practical experience plus you are really really keen to work. Your future employer is looking for that.

If you do get a 2nd interview then your struggles in the 1st interview are all history. The interviewees left are all at the same starting line.

Interviewers are looking to find out:

* Why should we employ you?

* Why do you want the job?

Of course they may ask 15 different questions that combined cover these 2 key criteria.

Also other questions like:

* Tell me 3 words that describe yourself?

* Give me an example when you were able to handle a complaint?

Assume you will get the next interview and start preparing. For a start think of all the good things you have done in your life and think whether they could be used to assist answer a question.

Ask yourself the 2 main questions, in fact why don't you write them down in point form

Use this as a good way to boost your confidence.

Good Luck

[Angela]

Originally Posted by OliverR

"I like where your coming from and what I see." He said this twice. He told me to try and relax next time.

What should I do next?

Why not really take in the feedback this guy gave you?

You did great! What employer wouldn't want an employee who is excited about working there, who is amped-up about presenting his best self and making a wonderful impression, and has excellent qualifications like yours.

He gave you some valuable advice -- now it's time to deliberately take on relaxation. Hypnosis, yoga, guided meditation, whatever makes you totally relax and feel very good. Everything else is in place, and the relaxation means that you are able to fully allow your wonderful, valuable qualities to integrate and be communicated to the world.

Best wishes!

[Raymond Edeh]

Take a deep breath before entering the room for the interview.

See it as FUN other than as a do-or-die affair.

Don't be over-confident but believe in yourself.

Prepare for the interview and assure yourself that you are prepared.


Cheers,
Raymond Edeh

[RT Wolf]

I know you feel like the other person's got all the power and so much hangs in the balance for you to do this, so that may make you feel a bit desperate. But it's not like that. Remember, you're choosing them, too. You have something to offer that they would like, so they don't have all the power. You can convince them that you have what they want, which is helpful, but also remember to seek out what you want. Even if you feel so desperate that you'll take any job that comes across your desk, you have standards. They may be very basic ones, like, would you work next to the rotting carcass of a cow? You may think that's funny but there's people out there who have to, so you've got this place good on that (I hope). What else would you like in a work environment? Do you prefer to work alone or in groups? Do you want great coworkers? A great boss? Do you want advancement opportunities? Or a lot of money? It'd be great to have all of those things, and if you cna do it, great! I would suggest, though, that you make a hierarchy of what's important to you in a work environment. The most important thing may be money, and the next important thing a comfortable and relaxed work environment.

Finally, you're making yourself stressed out by turning two meetings into a bigger deal. What's so hard about walking to a location, sitting down with another primate and making sound vibrations? Cause of what it means. Learn to seperate your current actions from teh results you want, mentally. Seperate the actions from what the overall "meaning" is.

Even after you get this job, you may want to keep looking, if that's right for you.

If you need job hunting help, check out What Color is Your Parachute. Sending out resumes is apparnetly one of th worse ways to get a job, and the book has better ones.

Good luck!

[astra]

Speaking as someone who has not only interviewed but been interviewed quite alot, you still need to prepare for the interview. Believe me, it shows when somebody isn't prepared. Rather than script answers, think about what sort of questions they might ask and some examples that go with them. It's sort of like the concept of palm cards when you had to give speeches at school - you weren't supposed to write the whole speech on the card, just a few points to remind you of where you were going. It's easier to speak more confidently when you're prepared for the question.

That being said, don't place so much pressure on yourself. Yes, it is harder to find jobs at the moment, but there's still jobs out there. It's like putting all your eggs in one basket, then freaking out at the idea of dropping it which leads to you actually dropping it. Tell yourself that you are prepared, you are confident, and you are perfect for the job, then believe it. They would be lucky to have you, and from your post I can tell you know it. If your mind goes blank, take a deep breath and look thoughtful until it comes back, just don't panic and it will. Make a concerted effort to speak slowly and clearly.

The interviewer clearly wants to see the real you, not what you think are the right words. That's a positive. I really hope that you get that second interview, and it certainly sounds positive. Go for it!

[OliverR]

The company called me last Wednesday and told me they wanted to see me for a second interview. I'm glad they were able to see it in them to consider me.

I found the reason for me being so desperate. It's because i feel like i don't have much going on for me right now. When I was in college, I was the fraternity treasurer, sponsorship chair, and pledge treasurer over the course of 3 years. This was while I gained my 2.5 years of finance experience. I felt good, confident, loved, and accomplished.

Now I live at home back with my parents. Although I have a degree, I am not with the 50 fraternity brothers that used to give me my support and confidence. I stay at home with a degree, during a down job market, hoping that someday opportunity will knock on the door.

I need confidence back. I feel like I have no one, I feel like my accomplishments never happened. After 3 months at home, it feels like a dream that I just woke up from.

I know that in order to gain confidence, I must visit and interact with those who gave me support and made me who I am. I must also keep busy somehow, so I know that if i don't get the job, it doesn't matter, because I have more important things to do. Because I see this as the most important thing, I feel like it's all or nothing.

I just had this moment of clarity, and my interview is tomorrow. Any thoughts?

[RT Wolf]

On a general level, keep pushing at your comfort zone. get out there and make new friends. Do something you're a little bit afraid of doing, that just excites you but doesn't make you run for the hills every day. Learn a new skill every day. If you keep pushign at your comfort zone, you'll become a bigger and stronger individual and you'll keep your spirits up. What are you doing during the day? Do you hang out with friends? go out and do somin new? Maybe take some dance classes or something?

It's really easy to revert to old patterns if you return to the same places, so maybe a change of scenery may help?

Before you go for your interview, listen to some inspirational audio. Maybe one of hte Pavlina podcasts, or read one of his articles that inspires you.

Good luck! You'll knock 'em out of hte water! I, for one, believe in you!

[OliverR]

I came back from my interview not really exuberant, but very much satisfied. I knew that there were some things I should have said to the interviewers that I left out, but it's ok. I'm glad to know that I spoke better even though I was still a bit nervous. If I don't end up getting the position, there are still more jobs out there I will find.

I have an interview tomorrow for a similar position. I'm glad that at least there is someone else that wants to see me. I hope that no matter what, I'll be able to find a job. I guess the reason why I'm not so nervous for tomorrow is because I have received another response to my job application. Since the company I just interviewed with was the first company to call me after several months, I thought it was all or nothing. This next interview shows that there are other opportunities out there, I just have to wait. Thanks for your opinions, and I will post the results soon.

[magi13]

That's great news. :3.. may your fire always be rekindled when you get interviewed.

[RT Wolf]

Excellent! Good work! Best of luck! You may wanna check out a job hunting guide like What Color is Your Parachute? for more tips on everything.

[ken nubo]

"unnervousness" comes with experience. Don't worry about it, you'll breeze through interviews once you done it enough
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Here's how you can make $400 by the end of the week on the Internet, cold hard cash -- the methods are free!

[spirit4711]

What I learned in a personal development training, and is working extremely well: often, whenever I am nervous (for interviews, public speaking, cold calling, etc) the focus is on ME. When I shift my focus on THE OTHER, their needs, it's easy!

I find that our minds want to keep us in the place that we are ('change is bad') and nervousness is our mind's tool to keep us fixed.

I'm using this also when I coach others and usually the results are amazing!

[ginkgo]

Learn to live in the present. A very famous American psychologist, Abraham Maslow (1908-1970), said "I can feel guilty about the past, apprehensive about the future, but only in the present can I act. The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness."

Eckhart Tolle says "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry-- all forms of fear-- are caused by too much future, and not enough presence." For right now bring a Sudoku book to the 2nd interview and arrive at least 15 minutes early. then play Sudoku and put all of your concentration on that. If you do it well, then everything in the universe will disappear and only the Sukodu will exist.

See this site where the above quotes came from and learn to be happy and live in the present. Enlightenment