Anyone want to critique my blogging style?

[runningbird]

Take a look at a couple articles and tell me, do they hold your attention? Is it entertaining? Too much info, or not enough?

I can look at a couple of yours in return (tell me if you want me to). Blog is in signature.

[Elenny]

I came across your blog yesterday and it caught my attention. I like the WP theme, although I would prefer a darker color for the text (but that's just my personal preference).

Interesting articles, but you might want to add a longer description of what the blog is about on the front page. Blog surfers are very impatient, and if they don't connect the dots immediately, they might click away forever.

[runningbird]

thanks,

I agree about the fonts; I made the colors a little bolder. Not sure how to "sticky" the description up yet, but that's probably important since my posts may seem disparate.

[bassn8ed]

It did not keep me interested at all. Maybe if that was my thing it would of helped me in some way. Not saying it was bad but it was kinda like a women reading the sports pages would feel.

[beautyscientist]

I sort of liked it, but it didn't hold my attention that well.

You can obviously write and you have put together a good looking site.

I think what you need is a real focus, a real reason for the blog to exist. I don't find

"Information on a variety of projects and tools to nourish physical, emotional, intellectual, moral, and trans-personal states."

very compelling.

What do you really want the blog to say?

[runningbird]

What all of my posts share in common is a theme of self empowerment. It's about not relying on society's first answer for how you can maintain a livelihood, maintain health, and be happy (hence the three pillars of tri-freedom - physical, mental, financial). It's sort of promoting decentralization or anarchism, except anarchists tend to have political tendencies - I want my site to just be about what practical things individuals can do to help themselves and their communities.

Is there a way I could present this purpose with more punch?

[DayInTheLife]

Originally Posted by runningbird

What all of my posts share in common is a theme of self empowerment. It's about not relying on society's first answer for how you can maintain a livelihood, maintain health, and be happy (hence the three pillars of tri-freedom - physical, mental, financial). It's sort of promoting decentralization or anarchism, except anarchists tend to have political tendencies - I want my site to just be about what practical things individuals can do to help themselves and their communities.

Is there a way I could present this purpose with more punch?

Yes. Concision. You just described your blog's purpose in 79 words. Can you do it in five? If you can, you can provide the same amount of value (probably more) to your readers while asking for only one-sixteenth as much of their time. Good writing is always dense with meaning.

Say what you want to say in as few words as possible. It demands less of the reader, and it provides more value to them.

[runningbird]

Originally Posted by DayInTheLife

Yes. Concision. You just described your blog's purpose in 79 words. Can you do it in five? If you can, you can provide the same amount of value (probably more) to your readers while asking for only one-sixteenth as much of their time. Good writing is always dense with meaning.

Say what you want to say in as few words as possible. It demands less of the reader, and it provides more value to them.

Did you actually read my posts or just the summary of my mission?

I would say my posts are more packed with information than 95% of blogs here.

Sure, I can summarize the summary; "Learn (1) to (2) become (3) self (4) empowered (5)".

How did that help?

[DayInTheLife]

I read the fish farm post and some of the shower one.

I would say my posts are more packed with information than 95% of blogs here.

But that does not make it compelling writing. Information is free and abundant. I can get it anywhere. In fact I already have too much of it. What's in it for me other than information?

Please do not take my comments personally. I am only providing the honest feedback you asked for. I did not find it entertaining because I found nothing in it I could identify with. The first line did not intrigue me to read the second line, the second line did not intrigue me to read the third, etc.

I can only give you my impression, but I suspect most responses will be similar.

Like others I found the text arrangement distracting. Maybe put the cited article in italics.

[runningbird]

Originally Posted by DayInTheLife

I read the fish farm post and some of the shower one.



But that does not make it compelling writing. Information is free and abundant. I can get it anywhere. In fact I already have too much of it. What's in it for me other than information?

Please do not take my comments personally. I am only providing the honest feedback you asked for. I did not find it entertaining because I found nothing in it I could identify with. The first line did not intrigue me to read the second line, the second line did not intrigue me to read the third, etc.

I can only give you my impression, but I suspect most responses will be similar.

Like others I found the text arrangement distracting. Maybe put the cited article in italics.

That is more helpful. Make it more personable.

But I don't understand what you mean by make it more concise and dense - what do you mean by this, if not to parlay more information with fewer words?

And what specifically is distracting about the text arrangement? No one else said that - does it need more white space?

[DayInTheLife]

Concision was more of a general writing tip, your posts aren't really overly verbose.

I was thinking about this last night, and I think what is missing for me is emotion. Emotional reactions are what people remember about any experience. Feelings are what make people tell others "you must read this!" For example, a lot of Steve's blog posts are very good at inspiring emotions in people... feelings like hope, excitement, camaraderie, self-assurance... even anger and contempt generate buzz and traffic.

Could you relate your topics in a way that incite emotion in the reader? What emotions are going to inspire a reader to consider implementing a fish farm, for example? If you could invoke the stress of today's increasing food costs, or the shame of tons of garbage being trucked uselessly to landfills, it would probably have more of an effect on the reader.

What are your favorite blog articles, and what emotions do you feel when you read them?

[runningbird]

I understand, basically. I'll work on tailoring to the emotions. Thanks.