Help Me Decide

[Anonymous]

I left my last job after having to work insane hours away from my familly, being asked to commit fraud, incidents of workplace violence(in the form of gangster friends of employees storming the building and threatening people and then no action taken), and, being told that there was nowhere to go after two promotions, despite being called the "rising star".

I think I lost my way after high school. I've always associated with people with whom I have true commonalities, though I tell myself I should have met some intelligent, successful people in engineering school, and befriended them on intellect alone. I met a girl instead, quit school, moved back home with her. Fell in with the old friends, who I only hung with 'cause of childhood pastimes. At least, out of these, I hung with the ones that had jobs, and got some work experience. I got the impression that, if I wanted to be taken seriously and succeed, I would have to get the "piece of paper", so I went back and did that. Met another girl, for whom the enthusiasm I had let derail me yet again, then I finished, albeit having studied writing instead. We got engaged, but have since ended after 7 years, though still on and off.

I have no real passion. I like travel, sun, writing, boardsports, dogs, politics, and family- sounds so southern California. I did Steve's purpose-for-your-life test and I didn't have an epiphany. I have a lot of strong programming from my parents and religion about working for other people and "blessed are the poor". I'm kind of an emotional left-brainer. I've always thought about law school, but feel too old, and tied down, to an area without very good schools now that I'm taking care of my parents. I try a lot of things, but my interest usually fades, as Steve describes in one of his blogs(I think the one about transmutation of sex energy). I don't think I was instilled with the greatest work ethic, being raised as a spoiled Generation Xer, and I fear that only financial distress will kick me in the butt, at which point I will think back and wish I'd been doing something to advance now.

I don't yearn for much money- to me being motivated by a number on an atm receipt is as arbitrary as being motivated by the number 7. I hope when people say they are motivated by money it is because they desire the experience of a nice car and house(though studies show happiness is not increased by money after basic needs are met), but I think generally it's about a feeling of superiority. Personality tests tell me I desire peace(probably to heal from my childhood)- just give me a beach, and someone to share it with.
A man must feed himself. Yes, it would be nice to like what I do every minute, but do professional athletes even feel like that? I'm sure sometimes they want to be elsewhere. Everyone does work, that is to say does things that one does not want to do at that minute, or if they don't-and have goals-I feel sorry for them, because goals are rarely achieved with only inspiration and no perspiration. We have been in a society where one has had the leisure to choose, and to some extent I still can make a career change, but it is hard to say what industries will be profitable in the near future.

I feel like I'm "caught inside" on the shore-to use a surf metaphor-having not secured a good job before an economic downturn. If I don't graduate top of the class from a great law school, odds are I won't get a good job- and I don't have the greatest school track record to indicate competitiveness with amazing students. Writing is losing its lucrativeness: I went to a world-class institution and I fear not getting a job- just look how many people have access to publishing now, and blogs! I'm just looking for advice in finding a passion, or choosing based on "practical concerns".

[tstesen]

You mentioned in your post that you went to school for writing.

What were your intentions when you did that?
What did you see yourself doing as it pertains to writing?

[Lupe]

though studies show happiness is not increased by money after basic needs are met

that's right!

[sbdiane]

I would not worry about writing being a poor career choice. Writing is needed. I used to work for a large software company in the marketing department and the amount of writing work that needed to be done rivaled the amount of web development coding that needed to be done. Seems to me that if you can write well, you can find good employment. Forget about books and newspapers and write copy or technical writing.

[Anonymous]

My schooling was really about taking Baby Boomer advice about going to college being the end-all, be-all(please people stop passing this on!), but I guess I did have the intention of writing a film- it just doesn't eat at me if I'm not writing it, so I don't know if it's a passion. Yeah, I was thinking technical writing as a possibility; I'd like to leave a record on this earth, I guess even if it's in a properly written software manual. Steve's exercise suggests one should have an epiphany though.