Is Anybody Else Worried (american please respond)

[williamhessian]

hi B & Fers. I rarely post in this section of the Pavlina forums, normally i run around in the health and fitness section. However, I've recently had a rough time with feeling worried about starting a family in america given all the growing concerns. I am 25, an artist living in minnesota. I am slightly in debt and I want to start a family but dont feel, given the current state of the country, that i should. I'm worried about what type of world my kid(s) would grow up in. I hate our president and have little hope about the next one. The house I renting is being foreclosed, the apt i moved to had a painter that stole $300 in DVDs. Overall I'm just frustrated.

I wrote a blog about this exact same thing (with a few more concerns) here: ZOMBIE ROBOT FROSTING: Is anyone else Worried?

But basically I am just looking to hear what other americans feel and if they have any advice for me. I'm just struggling to figure out how to feel more comfortable in my own country given all the pending problems.

thanks to any responders. it is much appreciated.

[Erin Pavlina]

I don't worry about things I can't control. I used to, but found it to be a big waste of energy. I can't decide who will be president. I can't prevent someone from stealing from me. Etc. What I CAN do though is decide how I feel about what is happening. And then I feel empowered instead of vulnerable and instead of scared. Shift your perspective.

You can give your child love. That's in your control. Not having kids is not the answer. If you really want kids, just have them, love them, empower them, and who knows... maybe your kid is destined to change the world...

[williamhessian]

Thanks for the reply Erin,

How do i effectively empower myself about things I cant control, when the things i cant control are negatively effecting my job, my friends and family, my safety and living situation.

I completely agree with your comments about having children though. I just feel uncomfortable raising them in such a dangerous society. I do not want to over control them, nor let them fend for themselves, but having so many evils swarming this society it seems inevitable that the odds stacked against them may have a negative effect.

My outlook is normally very positive and optimistic. I just really dislike a number of things going on around me. And feel powerless about it.

[Honeywith4bees]

I'm willing to bet your parents were worried about bringing you into the world that seemed more dangerous to them than when they were children. And their parents before them probably had the same worries and fears. And so forth and so on . . .

[williamhessian]

Originally Posted by Honeywith4bees

I'm willing to bet your parents were worried about bringing you into the world that seemed more dangerous to them than when they were children. And their parents before them probably had the same worries and fears. And so forth and so on . . .

i would agree with you. but i was actually an unplanned child. unplanned possibly because of the same concerns i feel. im not sure.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

People who are conscious and will strive to teach and guide their children to make the world a better place need to continue to have children. Otherwise all the coming population will be full of people who's parents just bred without giving it much thought. That's much more scary to me than anything that's going on now. Spread consciousness and awareness and compassion by raising kids with those qualities!

[Erin Pavlina]

You need a shift in perspective. The language you're using is disempowering. Find another way to frame what you see so that it's positive. I remember Tony Robbins doing it at a seminar:

"I'm too young to be in this business" changed to "Youth is power! I have more energy than those older guys."

"I don't have a degree" changed to, "I have PhD from Life! I've learned more than most people just from living."

And so on.

Reframe the negative.

[Sam988]

Originally Posted by williamhessian

hi B & Fers. I rarely post in this section of the Pavlina forums, normally i run around in the health and fitness section. However, I've recently had a rough time with feeling worried about starting a family in america given all the growing concerns. I am 25, an artist living in minnesota. I am slightly in debt and I want to start a family but dont feel, given the current state of the country, that i should. I'm worried about what type of world my kid(s) would grow up in. I hate our president and have little hope about the next one. The house I renting is being foreclosed, the apt i moved to had a painter that stole $300 in DVDs. Overall I'm just frustrated.

I wrote a blog about this exact same thing (with a few more concerns) here: ZOMBIE ROBOT FROSTING: Is anyone else Worried?

But basically I am just looking to hear what other americans feel and if they have any advice for me. I'm just struggling to figure out how to feel more comfortable in my own country given all the pending problems.

thanks to any responders. it is much appreciated.

Well i'm not american but since we live in a global village and people all around the world know (are obligated to, at least those who want to go into the financial world) a lot about the world and american economies.


I don't know why you're complaining about the country you're in. You're still in the richest country in the world, you know. And from all today's richest countries, the USA is the only one expected to still grow firmly and reasonably well for many decades (expected to grow and average of 3%, while most european countries and japan are expected to grow less, on an average of about 2%).

America still has all it needs to keep being strong for a long time; a big quantity of labor-age population, a big general population (3rd largest in the world), a lot of space (3rd largest country in the world), vast natural resources, and so on and on.... these are just some factors that are on top of my head.


By 2050, USA is expected, according to ernst&young, to be the 2nd richest in the world, behing only, obviously, of china. Meanwhile, all european countries will be far behind from USA and the BRIC countries.



Sometimes i wish i lived in the US. I guess that if i didn't live in one of the BRIC countries (where many opportunities are popping), the place i would move to would be certainly the US. I wouldn't worry about the future of the US. You guys are going to to very well still for a very very long time.

[williamhessian]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

People who are conscious and will strive to teach and guide their children to make the world a better place need to continue to have children. Otherwise all the coming population will be full of people who's parents just bred without giving it much thought. That's much more scary to me than anything that's going on now. Spread consciousness and awareness and compassion by raising kids with those qualities!

this is a good point. a really good point

[williamhessian]

Originally Posted by Erin Pavlina

You need a shift in perspective. The language you're using is disempowering. Find another way to frame what you see so that it's positive. I remember Tony Robbins doing it at a seminar:

"I'm too young to be in this business" changed to "Youth is power! I have more energy than those older guys."

"I don't have a degree" changed to, "I have PhD from Life! I've learned more than most people just from living."

And so on.

Reframe the negative.

hmmm. i will attempt to do just that. i do want to respect my fears and will not ignore my concerns. but to help cope mentally, reframing the negative may be the answer i need to help transform the feeling of helplessness into a feeling of hope and excitement.

[williamhessian]

Originally Posted by Sam988

Well i'm not american but since we live in a global village and people all around the world know (are obligated to, at least those who want to go into the financial world) a lot about the world and american economies.


I don't know why you're complaining about the country you're in. You're still in the richest country in the world, you know. And from all today's richest countries, the USA is the only one expected to still grow firmly and reasonably well for many decades (expected to grow and average of 3%, while most european countries and japan are expected to grow less, on an average of about 2%).

America still has all it needs to keep being strong for a long time; a big quantity of labor-age population, a big general population (3rd largest in the world), a lot of space (3rd largest country in the world), vast natural resources, and so on and on.... these are just some factors that are on top of my head.


By 2050, USA is expected, according to ernst&young, to be the 2nd richest in the world, behing only, obviously, of china. Meanwhile, all european countries will be far behind from USA and the BRIC countries.



Sometimes i wish i lived in the US. I guess that if i didn't live in one of the BRIC countries (where many opportunities are popping), the place i would move to would be certainly the US. I wouldn't worry about the future of the US. You guys are going to to very well still for a very very long time.

point taken, Sam. however, these invisible US national govnt bars that keep showing up are disconcerting, and they keep waging unlogical wars with our colors on their backs, i dont care how fast america is growing, its not something i want to be a part of. but again, point taken, thanks for the comment.

[Gordon]

Originally Posted by williamhessian

hi B & Fers. I rarely post in this section of the Pavlina forums, normally i run around in the health and fitness section. However, I've recently had a rough time with feeling worried about starting a family in america given all the growing concerns. I am 25, an artist living in minnesota. I am slightly in debt and I want to start a family but dont feel, given the current state of the country, that i should. I'm worried about what type of world my kid(s) would grow up in. I hate our president and have little hope about the next one. The house I renting is being foreclosed, the apt i moved to had a painter that stole $300 in DVDs. Overall I'm just frustrated.

I wrote a blog about this exact same thing (with a few more concerns) here: ZOMBIE ROBOT FROSTING: Is anyone else Worried?

But basically I am just looking to hear what other americans feel and if they have any advice for me. I'm just struggling to figure out how to feel more comfortable in my own country given all the pending problems.

thanks to any responders. it is much appreciated.

You cannot live your life in fear!!! You will miss out on so much!!

Go start your family....your persprectives will change.

G

[williamhessian]

Originally Posted by Gordon

You cannot live your life in fear!!! You will miss out on so much!!

Go start your family....your persprectives will change.

G

Gordon
fear will not control me. i appreciate the words of advice

[hotwired]

Einstein once said something to the effect that "The most important decision a person will make is whether or not they live in a friendly universe". I personally believe that our perspective and outlook on the world often dictates our experience of that world. This is kind of a strange concept to wrestle with. I personally live in a very friendly world and have always left my doors unlocked (until I got married and had child ... and then my belief that I must be the man and protect my family over rode the "I live in a world where we can leave our doors unlocked" belief!!).

So it's all beliefs. No matter what you believe, you'll find someone somewhere successfully living out the opposite belief

[Sam988]

Originally Posted by williamhessian

point taken, Sam. however, these invisible US national govnt bars that keep showing up are disconcerting, and they keep waging unlogical wars with our colors on their backs, i dont care how fast america is growing, its not something i want to be a part of. but again, point taken, thanks for the comment.

Ah i don't know very well what you're talking about, but i think it is about the wars that the US is always in?

It's true that many wars are unnecessary, and it's not your fault that the US is in wars such as in Iraq. But i do believe that after bush leaves the white house, the situation will get better. But we don't know; maybe the US will make a new war against another country... that's unfortunately likely to happen again sometime in the (hopefully distant) future.

But i wouldn't leave the US just because it engages in a war now and then. But of course i can't make a choice for you.

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

People who are conscious and will strive to teach and guide their children to make the world a better place need to continue to have children. Otherwise all the coming population will be full of people who's parents just bred without giving it much thought. That's much more scary to me than anything that's going on now. Spread consciousness and awareness and compassion by raising kids with those qualities!

Ouch! I had never seen it that way, Aspiring. Thanks. Maybe I should change my mind and have children after all??

WilliamHessian, do you already know Esther and Jerry Hicks' books? They would help you a lot with your problem!

[Nicketas]

Originally Posted by williamhessian

Thanks for the reply Erin,

How do i effectively empower myself about things I cant control, when the things i cant control are negatively effecting my job, my friends and family, my safety and living situation.

I completely agree with your comments about having children though. I just feel uncomfortable raising them in such a dangerous society. I do not want to over control them, nor let them fend for themselves, but having so many evils swarming this society it seems inevitable that the odds stacked against them may have a negative effect.

My outlook is normally very positive and optimistic. I just really dislike a number of things going on around me. And feel powerless about it.

I can feel that you have a lot of feelings to express about so many things.

Don't worry, you are loved.

You have to understand that while you cannot control the outside world, it's up to you to guard yourself against it.

Get tools. Get Skills. Get Supplies. Get Resources. Do what YOU must do for YOU.

Yes, outside things can affect us, but we can shield ourselves against them by bettering our own life situations.

Once you learn how to do this, you can thrive even in a crisis.

Most people look at a downed market and think their is no hope.

Smart individuals throw themselves into the dip, or shield against oncoming conditions and see opportunity anyways.


Look, if your airbrushing business (or any business) is going down the tubes, you need to do more marketing for it.

Market yourself constantly or die in a vat of burning money. That's business.

Post revver.com and metacafe.com (producer rewards) videos for extra revenue and advertising.

Offer your artistic services to OTHER BUSINESSES IN THE AREA.

Start a website or blog showcasing the great work you can do in designing advertisements using airbrushing (then perhaps scanning it into photoshop).

SHOW THEM that you can create great ad images and airbrush logos (or any artistic medium).

Your life needs balance, and you need to say "NO" to the things (even the small ones) that are pulling you away from taking better care of yourself, so that you can be prepared for whatever happens.

If you need further help, try the free ebook "The Ten Laws of Being a Man" by Dr. Paul Dobranksy.

I've been coached by him personally and he's been a HUGE help to me as an artist, personal coach, and aspiring video game designer.

He also offers free (and paid) coaching for right brained individuals such as yourself.

here's the link:
The Ten Laws Of Being A Man

Oh and william.

Get your psychology completely together before you start a family. You owe your children that much.

People here who say "Oh go have kids, they're lovely" either don't have a family, or have just by happenstance improved their personal psychology enough to successfully raise a kid.

But, if you have the choice, and YOU DO, GET YOUR HEAD IN BALANCE BEFORE YOU HAVE A KID.

Having a child is a ONE WAY DEAL. The kid will ALWAYS need your resources.

Your money.

Your Time.

Your Energy.

Your Love.

Your Ideas.

Your Strength.

If you do not have these things running at 98% efficiency, do not have children.

I love babies, I love children, I helped raise two younger brothers and have babysat innumerous times.

I also know the reality of it. Yes, they are wonderful, but there's no question about it:

Children are a one-way deal.

You give.

They take.

Untill they are more than equipped enough to give back - which will take longer if you do not have your sh*t together.

I'm just trying to give you the raw psychological facts of the matter.

It is not my intention to down the idea of having children, you just need to be ready.

This will sound blasphemous to others in here, but, The law of attraction alone cannot help you raise a family.

Let me say that again.

The law of attraction BY ITSELF cannot help you raise a family.

If it could, all of the massive amounts of repeatable results and research done by modern psychology would have been vaporized by the release of the secret (news to the naive: it hasn't)

If you do not have your psychology, your mind and your life, in balance with real work and real scientific guidance, having a child will make your life exactly one thousand times more difficult than it already is.

Dr. Paul is the best at handling the whole picture of your life, visually, since he's a unification theorist who maps out your mind so that you know exactly what you need to do.

And again, his book is free.

[Nicketas]

Originally Posted by Gordon

You cannot live your life in fear!!! You will miss out on so much!!

Go start your family....your persprectives will change.

G

Changing your perspective is a terrible reason to start a family.

No one can grow up overnight.

Don't have kids to "change the world" - this is displacing your wishes upon another human being.

Don't have kids to "change your perspective" - this is using that child as an object for your own improvement.

Don't have kids because you want love - children need all of your love all the time RIGHT NOW.

Don't have kids to fulfill any of your own needs. ONLY have children if you are fully ready as a human being to give all of yourself all the time.

THEN AND ONLY THEN will that child be prepared to actually change the world IF HE OR SHE WANTS TO.

Let's shed the narcissism already and treat children for what they are - separate individual human beings who need constant replenishing of resources in order to be able to give back.

[RFSCOACH]

Hello-

I am not worried about bringing my children into this world. Not that there are not alot of things to be worried about. Its more about, how do I want to live my life. My children are not a one way deal. I totally disagree with that.

I love them with my whole soul and they love me that way in return. But it is not without trial and tribulations. I also feel that what my children have to offer the rest of the world - the comment about breeding, may sound funny. But these are quality people being raised.

I am not turning them out to the world to raise them, they are being raised by smart, intelligent, spiritual people. I am teaching them the values I was raised with, with God as our center. Not everyone believes this way and that is ok. I am not preaching here. We talk about god, we pray, we talk about satan. They need to know everything thats in the world. Good and Bad.

I dont let them just watch tv all day, I am home schooling them, they are doing sports. They get a wide variety of things. The world is not the same as when I was young. Some for the better, a lot for the worse.

Our children are our future and if we we just let people who do not care about what their children become populate the earth, then whose responsibility is it. Dont let fear rule what you want. When you are old and gray, you will certainly not say, I sure wish I didnt have my kids. If you work and strive to raise good kids, they will be standing beside you and comforting you and taking care of you.

Live your life, have a family if you wish. Just don't let fear rule your life.

Have a happy & proserous new year.

[TonyRush]

William, I'm new here but participate in a few other forums on these same topics so I hope you won't mind me responding.

I think there