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Old 10-18-2011, 12:03 AM   #158 (permalink)
elucidate
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Melbourne, Australia
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Originally Posted by Agota View Post
I wouldn't want my parents or relatives to move in with me when they're old nor would I want my kids to take me in when I'm old. I don't think it's healthy that most people lose themselves when they have kids and then hang on to them once they grow up, expecting their kids to provide meaning for their lives and then blaming their kids for having their own lives to live. I really hope that I'll be able to let my kids go when it's time and move on with my life.
I guess understanding things like "empty nest syndrome" as well, helps. When a mother spends 18 or more years of her life, in the role of 'mother' only to then have it all abruptly change, when her kids move away or want to, it leaves her with a loss of identity. Who would she be if not the person who has always cared for and cooked for and done everything for her kids?

We all have to adapt to new life changes, and mothers are no exception, but I do get how hard it must be to really let go of your children when it's time. My mother didn't have a great time of it, and I think on some level she felt like we abandoned her or rejected her.
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