Originally Posted by Agota
I believe that anyone who had the experience of living on your own and then moving back with your parents or other relatives can testify that living with your parents as an adult is usually not the most pleasant nor the most healthy experience.
I actually had a very interesting experience moving out and back home for a few years. I stayed with my parents while taking college classes out of necessity, but moved out periodically for months / years at a time on internships. The first time I did, I roomed with 2 young professionals and learned to relate to the people I lived with as reasonable adults.
When I moved back with my parents, I implemented the same relationship - adult to adult, using non violent communication, addressing dormant issues, no patience for passive-aggressive behavior, no response to being treated like a child. I learned to identify and to enforce healthy boundaries (and, in return, respect them in other people). And it worked! There were setbacks of course, and I am still working at improving the relationship with my mother, but it was a very interesting growth experience for all of us.
Originally Posted by Cado
When you don't sugarcoat the eastern modality and present it as-is, you've got a solid argument for it only persisting out of economic necessity. If they had more affluent and capitalistic societies you'd probably see a shift in their values. You're already seeing it amongst wealthy families in India.
But it persists in Japan and Korea, 2 first world countries.
I see it from an evolutionary standpoint - it's a behavior that persists because it is good at surviving and spreading. It has nothing to do with how healthy it actually is for the people perpetuating it.