Originally Posted by Cado
And the power dynamic never really goes away. It changes, and you can break its hold to the point that you're able to act independently, but when you're living with someone you were conditioned to obey for the first 18 years of your life it's incredibly easy to slip back into old habits, or take on more of their 'stuff' than is healthy for you. For example, while my relationship with my mother is far healthier than the one I had with my father, her presence has an unusually strong effect on me, which isn't good considering that I'm generally a positive and confident person while she suffers from crippling self-doubt.
I realize it's up to me to control my own emotions and how I respond to people, but sometimes control means avoidance of particular people. When those people are related to you things get complicated.
And that's the exact reason I moved out away from my step mom. I used to be a positive, and very confident person. She drove that out of me. That house was nothing but negativity.