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Originally Posted by momo3bur  It doesn't really apply to adults who have their own lives, own marriages, jobs, etc., yet tote their parents along in order to care for them. There is absolutely nothing adolescent about that whatsoever. |
Important to also realise that it's about interdependence - mutually helping each other.
I don't see old people in my country being leeches on their adult children. Until they are really frail and ill and physically weak, they are still very interested in contributing and helping the family. The most obvious area is in looking after the grandkids.
In the USA, you would instead send your kids to a daycare centre or hire some teenager off the street to act as your babysitter. This really doesn't sound like a very attractive part of "independence" to me. Instead of depending on your own grandparents, you are depending on a daycare center or a teenaged stranger to look after your kids.
Secondly, I also don't typically see adult children living with their parents as leeches, because these adult children also contribute in their own ways. Typically they will give their parents some money every month, or they will take on the responsibility of paying for certain bills and expenses, eg power bill; water bill; groceries etc. If they don't do the housework themselves, they will pay for a maid to do the job.
There are many practical advantages, big and small, in living near each other, even if you do not actually live WITH each other. For example, once when my daughter was a baby, she fell ill and had to be hospitalised. My parents were of great help to me then, as they immediately stepped in to look after my son, while my wife and I camped at the hospital. Another kind of help that I give my parents - when they are away on holiday, I go to their apartment every day to walk the dog, feed the dog and water their plants. These are small things that just can't be done if I were living faraway from them.
One might say that in the USA, we would send the dog to a pet hotel. We have those here as well, but it just isn't the same. It's like sending your child to a daycare centre, instead of having family members to care for him or her.