Originally Posted by Cado
You balk at the idea of family causing children to develop mental problems and such-well, at least when it comes to my father's side of the family, they can go %^&$ themselves. If my grandfather had another heart attack I wouldn't go visit him, and it's very likely that if one or both of my grandparents die I won't even be informed.
That's how I want it. They're utterly toxic to everyone in their sphere and the world will be better off without them. That was true for my father, and while I consider that a tragic turn the fact is his death was probably the best thing that could have happened to me. Under him I had no right to exist, and if that's what strong family bonds mean in my case then I'll redefine family and seek it elsewhere.
Well, I will accept your word for it, that various family members of yours are toxic and very undesirable to live with.
But in a more general discussion, what are we to make of your personal examples?
We could treat them as very specific examples (i.e YOUR particular dad or granddad was like that), in which case there isn't much value or meaning for other readers, because they have different dads and granddads.
Or we could generalize and say - it's a common thing to have such toxic family members, and therefore moving out is generally advisable.
Then because moving out seems to be such a common phenomenon in America, but not in many other parts of the world, this leads us to the question - why are there (apparently) so many people in the USA who are toxic to their family?
I think that is an important and interesting question, because every American here is someone's child; and is also a parent, or has some probability of becoming one; and unless America's population is fated to die out in 30 to 60 years time, some of you are also going to be grandparents.
So .... are YOU toxic to your family?