Originally Posted by Roaring Springs  I got in a luckily brief argument with my mom this morning, about my intention to manifest a girlfriend. I'll try to keep this as short as I can but before I get any further into this, let me share this tid-bit with you people.
I've grown up with a very negative mother who always sees the negative in everything. She's not big into this attraction stuff ("b*******t" as she calls it) as I am. She lost her husband (my father) when I was seven, so I can perfectly see why she's so hellbent on pulling me out of this "fantasy" of trying to attract my One.
I'm autistic, and I don't spent that much time out of the house... except for when I have to be at school, work, or at summer camp. I'm 20 years old and still live here with my mum and I would like to get out of here. I know some of you people are going to tell me, "Oh, there are non-autistic people older than you who still live with their parents, mainly because the economy is so bad." Yes, I understand. But I still want to not live here any longer than I have to and I can attract that too.
I've tried three years to manifest a girlfriend, but to no avail. My mother has used that against me, trying to get through to me that it should be a clue what I'm doing isn't working. I wish I told her this but it's not working because it will happen when it's time. And I am not to screw with the Universe's timeline. And it didn't happen when I wanted it to happen because I wasn't ready then. I'm not saying this wishfully, but if the Universe were to ask me if I think I'm ready right now for my girlfriend, my God-honest answer would be "yes" because I really do believe that I am ready for her.
First of all, I've seen and heard about people who set these goals and intention to find "The One" and they actually do--some rather quickly, others through a desperate struggle, like me. But they have, and my having autism shouldn't make me any more of an exception... especially when there are times where I have sucessfully applied the Law of Attraction. And it fit worked in those cases, it will definately work for the girl.
I don't like to laugh at people as it's not very nice. But I just couldn't help but to sit there and laugh as my mum went on and on about how hard it is for non-autistic people to get into and keep relationships anyhow, that the divorce rate is so dang high, and that I've never had a "real" girlfriend relationship anyway. She was also trying to tell me this is a sign something is wrong with me because of this and that if someone found this out about me, they will see something wrong with me too. Well, let me tell you people something. I want people to laugh at me about this, only because I'll be the one acquiring the last laugh when I prove everybody wrong.
After this debate, I looked at one thing I know about the Law of Attraction--"like attacts like", and then I came up with this theory that she might be autistic or have some other mental flaw like ADHD or something. Again, this was based on the stuff I listed and when I did my Perfect Girlfriend list, I've divided the list into three components, Physical Characteristics (what she looks like), Her Personality (how she acts), and Her Lifestyle (where she lives, what kind of enviornment she lives in and stuff like that), and here are some samples to help other people come up with good traits for their "Ones"
Her Personality
heterosexual or bisexual
smoke-free and drug-free
virgin
understanding
affectionate
sweet to me
very easy for me to get along with
compatible with me, preferably a Capricorn (I'm a Virgo)
good morals
honest with me
generous
gets my name tattooed across her bicep
has a bed large enough for both of us to sleep on
great kisser
great in bed
often timid and quiet
acts childishly immature for her age, even in public
often flamboyant
funny
knows when to be serious
disregards others' negative opinions
likes to shop
likes to travel
likes rides on highways
likes Power Rangers
loves to go swimming
loves skinny, younger, feminine guys like myself
loves that I am feminine, fascinated by my feminine mannerisms
Please bear in mind that this isn't the whole list as I terminated some traits for privacy purposes and because they're too inappropriate for this site anyway. Mind you, I didn't list that she was autistic, or had ADHD, just that she can act immature for her age, (I better go back and put "in a playful way" after it).
In line of all this, she looked over my WHOLE list, I am a little embarrassed to say, and she commented once (this actually isn't the first time we had this debate) that I expect a lot of things for her, that this woman does not exist, and now that because I want her to function she wants me to function too. Well, I do. I don't mind her being autistic or having ADHD or whateverhaveyou. Just as long as she is high-fuctioning enough to sustain and keep a relationship with me and can contribute to the relationship as I am willing to.
I'm gonna sit down and write a novel about this, not only about what it's like to be autistic but also chronically my journey with attracting a girlfriend. In fact, as the "living as if" rule goes, I'm already working on it! Just the parts before the meeting "The One" stuff, that is.
Sincere thank you to all who took the time to read this long post and in advance to those replying with feedback. I tried not to write a book and keep it short but I need to get these important points across. All feedback and suggestions are highly appreciated. There's no such thing as "too much help".
And mum, I highly doubt you'll ever find this post anyhow but if on some strange occasion you happen to be reading this, thank you so much for giving me the motivation and determination I need to continue on my journey. Like, seriously? You're far out of your mind if you think I'm going to give up my dream, and even further if you think so just because you don't see it happening. You're trying to pull me out of a dillusion I'm not even in and all you're doing is making me stronger and more determined and the more determined you are to achieve something, the higher the likelyhood of it actually happening. Fact. |