That ultimately depends on what you want to do with your relationship. For example, do you think it is better for it to end and die as painlessly as possible; or do you think you want to rescue the relationship and make it work.
Anyway, you probably can use one of those Abraham-Hicks methods about reaching step by step for better thoughts. Advisable to do it in writing. Write down what's on your mind - in a brief sentence. Then reach for a next better thought and better, and better, and better. Pay attention to the emotion and feeling behind each thought. Eg:
"I am sabotaging the relationship. There is a lot of pain."
"I am hurting the relationship. I am doing it, the fault is mine."
"Since I am doing it and I don't like it, I should stop doing it."
"I started doing it myself. So I can stop."
"I want to stop doing this."
"It is within my power to stop it."
"I will stop it."
"I will stop it now."
"In fact I will start doing new different things to heal the relationship."
"Here are five things I can do to start healing the relationship. [ ]."
"Here are two things I can do TODAY to start healing the relationship."
"I believe the relationship can be healed."
"Not only can it heal, it can get better and better."
"I can make it better and better."
Etc etc.
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