This is a real shame. Students don't turn up for a variety of reasons - mostly because lots of them hopelessly lack commitment. If you had 25 students, there would have been more present during the course. I did an astrophysics module when I was studying physics years ago and I turned up 20 minutes late to discover the lecturer was still waiting for anybody to turn up. He carried on and was totally professional about it.
I read your other posts and you were very enthusiastic about getting this. It takes a while to become a real good teacher or lecturer and the world needs them. It's down to experience. Expectations aren't always fully met at first. If you look back at what you did, I think you'll find it wasn't so bad as you thought. I think you need some support too.
'I'm so glad I've given it up, I will have this weekend free at least.'
It's a mild relief that the pressure's off, but I'm not convinced you wanted to have to end it.
'I still got very nervous and still came across unorganised...'
So did I the first time I had to speak in front of a class. Please rethink this and don't be so hard on yourself. You made a desire into reality and just need to make improvements. There are people out there waiting for you.
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