Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - The Spiritual Consequences of Suicide (Blog)

hymalaia · 08-10-2007, 12:16 AM

Hmm, I used to get a lot of suicidal thoughts, though they are happening less and less nowadays. They still happen though and they can be a pain. But I think if I were to ever go through with it I couldn't just "dissapear" from life. I would work to distance myself from the people I know physically and emotionally. I'd move far away and break off all contact. I'd get to the point where if I did kill myself it just wouldn't make a huge difference because I've already distanced myself from everyone. I'm single and don't know many people so it really wouldn't be that hard.

I guess you could say I'd rather fade away than burn out.

My reasoning here is fairly selfish; for example, I really can't stand the thought that I might have a "funeral" in the upcoming future. I'm 24 and funerals for people my age; I don't know the atmosphere just bothers me. They're so tragic and depressing. I would hate to see that happening to me from the other side! I want to say I'd just avoid my own funeral but I think I'd go out of morbid curiosity and to see just who shows up! heh.

All that said, I don't think it's going to come to suicide. I do feel distance from certain people in my life is necessary, but I'm not equating that with a future suicide... yet. The thing is, my "distancing" plan would take years of work. Work that could be used actually living a life, so it's rather illogical to apply. Even if it took no work I'd at least have to wait till I get to an age where death is more "acceptable" like 40 or something. This kind of sounds like taking a "waiting to die" additude, which is what would it would take for me to commit suicide. I sometimes wonder if more people aren't on this mindset, maybe not to die at 40, but 70, or 60, or 50. I wonder if certain behaviors which I consider "passively suicidal" like smoking, drinking, junk food, etc are part of it... obviously people enjoy these things but they also know they kill you. I mean that is suicidal to a certain degree... just a slower more enjoyable form. ;o

Just some cheery thoughts. As I said, my suicidal tendencies improve with time though they have yet to dissapear.

08-10-2007, 12:16 AM	#14 (permalink)
hymalaia Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 22	Hmm, I used to get a lot of suicidal thoughts, though they are happening less and less nowadays. They still happen though and they can be a pain. But I think if I were to ever go through with it I couldn't just "dissapear" from life. I would work to distance myself from the people I know physically and emotionally. I'd move far away and break off all contact. I'd get to the point where if I did kill myself it just wouldn't make a huge difference because I've already distanced myself from everyone. I'm single and don't know many people so it really wouldn't be that hard. I guess you could say I'd rather fade away than burn out. My reasoning here is fairly selfish; for example, I really can't stand the thought that I might have a "funeral" in the upcoming future. I'm 24 and funerals for people my age; I don't know the atmosphere just bothers me. They're so tragic and depressing. I would hate to see that happening to me from the other side! I want to say I'd just avoid my own funeral but I think I'd go out of morbid curiosity and to see just who shows up! heh. All that said, I don't think it's going to come to suicide. I do feel distance from certain people in my life is necessary, but I'm not equating that with a future suicide... yet. The thing is, my "distancing" plan would take years of work. Work that could be used actually living a life, so it's rather illogical to apply. Even if it took no work I'd at least have to wait till I get to an age where death is more "acceptable" like 40 or something. This kind of sounds like taking a "waiting to die" additude, which is what would it would take for me to commit suicide. I sometimes wonder if more people aren't on this mindset, maybe not to die at 40, but 70, or 60, or 50. I wonder if certain behaviors which I consider "passively suicidal" like smoking, drinking, junk food, etc are part of it... obviously people enjoy these things but they also know they kill you. I mean that is suicidal to a certain degree... just a slower more enjoyable form. ;o Just some cheery thoughts. As I said, my suicidal tendencies improve with time though they have yet to dissapear.