Thankyou both TheCloud and Rawxstasy. Both of your comments have been really helpful. So I see this as a spiritual approach then - kind of watching what my mind does and not identifying with it but rather seeing it for the game that it is. Devaluing the 'drug-high' is an interesting approach and makes sense. Self-talk seems like really good advice because on some level I am doing that anyway (although now it's 'subconscious' it happens so fast) but in a way that is not good for me. I will try your suggestions.
Andrew Gubb and brutha, I do smile but it's not something people do walking down the street, crossing the street or when they're busy listening to ipods etc. I guess it isn't a bad sign that once guys get to know me, they are interested but it still stands that I would like to rid myself of this need for approval.