Originally Posted by awdye
I think the main problem is that it works for them.
Unless there's some reason someone would want to change, it probably won't happen.
True, in their mind it does work for them. At some point in their lives, they made the decision that this is the only way to access a need. The key would be to show them how the behaviour is actually taking them farther away from what they want or how there is a better way.
For a bully, the behaviour might feel like it is the only way to be accepted (fighting your way to the top). The reality is that society treats bullies like outcasts.
The key would be to show them how that behaviour doesn't work and not wait for them to figure it out. We all participate in behaviours that we unconsciously believe to serve us but actually don't (procrastination, smoking, ect.).