Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post

Writersings · 09-27-2011, 01:15 AM

Hello,

I have a situation that I need help with. The Golden Rule states to do unto others as you would have them do unto you, right? Or to treat others the way you would want to be treated.

Well, I've tried to live by that credo and have gotten myself into a jam and wonder if there is anyone out there who may lend some helpful advice.

There is a man that lives not far from my house who is physically handicapped. He lives in an assisted living facility with other adults who are handicapped to a certain degree. This particualar man walks with a walker and has some sort of braces on his legs. He speaks like there is something mentally challenging. I've always felt bad for him.

So.... one day a few years ago on my way home from work I saw him walking (this was before the walker) and I asked him if he wanted a ride up the hill to his home in the facility. He got in. A few weeks went by and again on my way home from work I saw him walking and gave him a ride up the hill.

This went on a few more times until I left that job. I didn't see him for awhile.

About a week ago I saw him walking with another man who I could see was mentally handicapped and the guy I gave rides to had a walker now. I asked him if he needed a ride. He said yes. Both guys got into my car and I took them to the store. The guy asked me to wait for him and I did and gave him a ride to his home.

Tonight the doorbell rang. It was the guy with the walker and his friend. He told me it was his birthday and I whole heartedly wished him a happy birthday. Then he asked me for $5.00. I only had $5.00 in my wallet. I told him I could give him $2.00. He said "You don't have $5.00?" I told him $2.00 was all I could give him. (I don't get paid until next week and I need the money).

I walked outside and gave him the money. THen he asked me if I knew how to bake a birthday cake. I told him no. Now mind you this man is quite rational, and even though he speaks with a speech impediment, he makes sense and is not really "mentally" handicapped.

Okay, then he asked me if I had a size 13 sneaker he could have because he needs new sneakers. I told him I didn't have that.

Then he asked if I could take him to church on Saturday. I told him I had something going on in the afternoon (which I do) but he said he needed a ride at 10:00 AM. I don't know of any masses/church services going on at 10:00 but he said there were. Whatever....

I said I might be able to take him. Then his friend produced a blank sheet of paper and asked for my phone number. He said he didn't have a pen and I would have to go in my house for one. I wasn't thinking and wrote down my phone number on the paper.

I went into the house and thought I would NEVER do that to anyone. I wouldn't ask of someone like that and I thought I made a HUGH MISTAKE giving out my phone number. I know he's going to call me now asking for a ride or this or that.

I felt sorry for him because of his disability and giving him a few rides wasn't enough... now it's about money, sneakers, cakes, etc.

How can I stop this and why would I do this to myself? I am beating myself up about this knowing I'm smarter than that to give out my phone number to someone I don't even know. My husband says I have rocks in my head (he's just joking) because I'm always giving of myself to others and not putting myself first.

I think I'm doing good and being nice and then I meet someone like this man who is asking too much of me. I don't even give myself time to do the things I want to do because I'm always doing for others. I'm working on that issue, but need to know how to I can eliminate this man from bothering me without hurting his feeling.

Thanks for any help!

09-27-2011, 01:15 AM	#1 (permalink)
Writersings Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 3	The Golden Rule Hello, I have a situation that I need help with. The Golden Rule states to do unto others as you would have them do unto you, right? Or to treat others the way you would want to be treated. Well, I've tried to live by that credo and have gotten myself into a jam and wonder if there is anyone out there who may lend some helpful advice. There is a man that lives not far from my house who is physically handicapped. He lives in an assisted living facility with other adults who are handicapped to a certain degree. This particualar man walks with a walker and has some sort of braces on his legs. He speaks like there is something mentally challenging. I've always felt bad for him. So.... one day a few years ago on my way home from work I saw him walking (this was before the walker) and I asked him if he wanted a ride up the hill to his home in the facility. He got in. A few weeks went by and again on my way home from work I saw him walking and gave him a ride up the hill. This went on a few more times until I left that job. I didn't see him for awhile. About a week ago I saw him walking with another man who I could see was mentally handicapped and the guy I gave rides to had a walker now. I asked him if he needed a ride. He said yes. Both guys got into my car and I took them to the store. The guy asked me to wait for him and I did and gave him a ride to his home. Tonight the doorbell rang. It was the guy with the walker and his friend. He told me it was his birthday and I whole heartedly wished him a happy birthday. Then he asked me for $5.00. I only had $5.00 in my wallet. I told him I could give him $2.00. He said "You don't have $5.00?" I told him $2.00 was all I could give him. (I don't get paid until next week and I need the money). I walked outside and gave him the money. THen he asked me if I knew how to bake a birthday cake. I told him no. Now mind you this man is quite rational, and even though he speaks with a speech impediment, he makes sense and is not really "mentally" handicapped. Okay, then he asked me if I had a size 13 sneaker he could have because he needs new sneakers. I told him I didn't have that. Then he asked if I could take him to church on Saturday. I told him I had something going on in the afternoon (which I do) but he said he needed a ride at 10:00 AM. I don't know of any masses/church services going on at 10:00 but he said there were. Whatever.... I said I might be able to take him. Then his friend produced a blank sheet of paper and asked for my phone number. He said he didn't have a pen and I would have to go in my house for one. I wasn't thinking and wrote down my phone number on the paper. I went into the house and thought I would NEVER do that to anyone. I wouldn't ask of someone like that and I thought I made a HUGH MISTAKE giving out my phone number. I know he's going to call me now asking for a ride or this or that. I felt sorry for him because of his disability and giving him a few rides wasn't enough... now it's about money, sneakers, cakes, etc. How can I stop this and why would I do this to myself? I am beating myself up about this knowing I'm smarter than that to give out my phone number to someone I don't even know. My husband says I have rocks in my head (he's just joking) because I'm always giving of myself to others and not putting myself first. I think I'm doing good and being nice and then I meet someone like this man who is asking too much of me. I don't even give myself time to do the things I want to do because I'm always doing for others. I'm working on that issue, but need to know how to I can eliminate this man from bothering me without hurting his feeling. Thanks for any help!