I hosted a small party tonight
Was nice. A guy I recently met called me today. So I casually invited him too.
He stayed after everyone left and I thought Id give him a chance.
He started massaging my back. We had a nice convo. But It just wasnt happening for me. I asked him to leave. But still it felt nice to be touched, (nothing sexual)...very nice... But not nice enough. His personality kept showing up ...

It was clear: no, I dont wanna see him again.
Still it was a nice evening....
Im still in "let go" mode. Im taking action. Like this party tonight where I invited all kinds of people.
But not desperate action.
I so keep wanting to call my ex since I asked him not to call me, but Im really learning self control....I will let things unfold as they should. I trust that they are