Originally Posted by HeartfulColourful
.I have had the odd day (not any more) where guys have checked me out. The way I feel when that happens is I feel really valuable, uplifted and worthy but above all I feel 'safe'. I feel that I am 'ok'. How do I feel that way regardless of how much approval I receive?
As long as you seek the positive results of receiving approval, you will continue to experience the negative consequences. You can't turn all your feelings into the particular feelings you seek, because you must seek approval in order to experience those feelings, and therefore must suffer the consequences of rejection. It's kind of like a game; you can't win unless you can also lose. The only way to avoid losing is to stop playing.
So if you want to stop feeling unattractive, you must stop seeking the approval of men, which means not seeking the good feelings you get from approval. In order to be free of feeling rejected, you must also give up feeling 'safe' and valuable. That's the only way to find some new way to be that doesn't involve the acceptance of men.