Yesterday I spent the day with a guy I recently met on one of my solo ventures.
Even though I knew Im not interested in him romantically, for various reasons (hes a lot younger, totally broke and doesnt know what hes doing with his life), it was still very fun! I love it that this guy is manipulation free. It was an honor to spend the day with such a sweet, honest and funny man. I love it that we were so respectful of each-other. It really lifted my spirits, which had been a bit down...
Why down?
I think 2 reasons:
1)Two days ago a man I was dating a few years ago called that hes in my hood. We met when I was living in another country and we were in an LDR for a while and I nearly moved across the world to marry him, but then he dumped me...And thank god for that!
5 years later he's totally lifeless and depressed, he lives a loveless life full of unresolved pain. Back then he didnt like it that I was such a dreamer. I thought he would help me become "normal". And yeah, maybe the life he lives is "normal". No miracles happen. I have miracles everyday.
So having lunch with him made me depressed too!
. Two hours of his energy was enough to put me down for the rest of the day.
2)I didnt want to admit it but...
My most recent ex came back to town and we met, (see 09-09-2011, 04:19 PM)
He was away for a month and this gave me time to heal. But since he's been back, he's been texting every so often and so have I.
Yesterday he called and today I called him back.
He was just on his way to sit in a bar.
After we hung up I started crying. This guy made me cry so much in our relationship too. And even just talking to him made me cry in a totally irrational way.
Then while he was in the bar he sent me pics of him through his phone, and texted and called.
Finally I picked up. I told him that I still have feelings for him and best if we wont be in touch for now.
He said he understood. And that was that.
Im happy I just did that!
This month I cleared out from my life all the manipulative relationships, or just ones that made me feel bad.
Being in touch with him would be a step back.
I feel like a huge load has been lifted off my back. wow!