Quote:
Originally Posted by medaille  Sir,
You have a LOT of work to do. You are in a situation where life is beating you on the head with a baseball bat and you are not taking the hint.
You have some beliefs that are going to make it very difficult for you to feel better about your life.
The first belief that you have is that you can't make yourself happy. You feel you need something outside of you to allow you to feel happy. You are completely dependent on what life gives you as to how happy you are. You are choosing to be a dog. You only get what scraps get put in your bowl. You spend all your time and energy praying to god that the master will put some scraps in your bowl. You are not a dog. You are not helpless. You have overcome many obstacles in your past and you will overcome many obstacles in your future. For heavens sake, grow a spine and make an attempt to get what you want. Stopping being a helpless beggar. What woman would possibly want a man who cannot provide for himself? Why would she want to have to support you in addition to herself?
The second belief is that no one loves you? If you believe that no one loves you, that means only one thing. You don't love yourself. Let me repeat that. You don't love yourself. Think about that for a second. How screwed up is that? That is about a billion times more important than the idea that no woman loves you. You should never, ever be in a situation where no one loves you because you should always be able to love yourself.
You said it before:
Yes you are being a ♥♥♥♥♥. I didn't say that you are a ♥♥♥♥♥, but right now you are being a ♥♥♥♥♥. What's making you a ♥♥♥♥♥ is the fact that you are feeling like crap and you are saying, "woe is me, how come nothing changes" and you aren't doing anything to fix your situation.
Action Plan
Tell me what you've done to try and fix your situation. We need to see what you've tried to fix your predicament and how that's worked out. Maybe I'm completely wrong and you've been working your ass off and just haven't seen the results yet.
Here's the most important thing. WHAT DO YOU WANT? All you have to do is figure out what you want and keeping making forward progress in trying to achieve it. I think you have two goals that you should be working on simultaneously. One, you need to figure out how to love yourself or failing that how to become a person that you could love.. Two, you need to figure out how to become the person that your ideal partner could love, then figure out how to give her the fullest opportunity to fall in love with you.
Maybe those aren't the right goals for you. I think they're a good starting point.
So, here are some questions that you should answer truthfully and honestly to help you out with loving yourself.
Who do you want to be?
What would be required for you to be completely satisfied with yourself even if no one else on the planet loved you? If you were on a deserted island (I bet your situation feels kind of like that) with no opportunity of any other person to ever come across, what would be required for you to feel happy in that situation?
Describe the purpose of your life? (I know you said that you felt like you had no purpose in life, so consider that another goal so get out into the world and start trying things to see if any of them resonate with you in any happy way. If your life isn't filled with things that strike you as being part of your purpose than for the love of god, try different things.)
You are not happy with your life, so move towards a happier life.
What are you good at? What do you want to be good at? Then become good at them.
For the second goal, and perhaps the goal that is more likely to help (even though in reality it is for the most part the same goal as the first goal)
Describe your ideal woman. Create her in your imagination so vividly that you run your fingers through her hair and taste her skin. How does she look standing next to you? How does she treat other people? What are her best personality traits? does she have any weaknesses that you find cute and charming? What does she need in her life to be happy?
What kind of man does she want (Hey, that's you!)? What does she need from that man, so that she'll be completely fulfilled? What about that man fills her dreams at night and creates a lust so deep inside of her that she's got a sparkle about her that stays with her through her day? Why does she spend all of her time thinking about him? What does he provide for her? How does he fulfill all her needs? What does he do that makes her feel safe and protected so that she can be completely relaxed and comfortable with him?
Ok, I want you to set time aside and answer these questions. The better you answer these questions, the more you'll understand what you need to do to become the person that you love and to become the person that your soulmate will love. Then create a plan to start becoming that person. |
best post in the whole darn thread.
Dude!
you are in the military and you are whining about being lonely and not loved????
Can you see that there is a way bigger issue than you and your girl friend going on here. you clearly have other bigger isues you need to look at.
you are choosing to allow this female to drag you around by your dick!
Are you enjoying being a wuss?
Can you spell door mat?
for as long as you lie there and let people walk over you your feelings will remain the same.
Love is not deserved it is given.
but you do have to be open to love.
you are radiating needy and clingy right now.
Love will pass you by while you are in that state.
First thing you need to do is learn to love yourself.
And the first step to doing that is to dump the poisonous snake you are so determined to hang on to before it kills you dead!
Dude you would be better off with Playboy and your hand than to spend one more second thinking about her.
there are tens of thousands of beautiful women out there all waiting for a great guy to turn up in their life. All you have to do is ask.
Be confident. Be truthful. Be trusting. there really isn't much else you need to know.
please remember this!
every woman you see is a potential partner unless she is in a permenant relationship. But she is going to carry on with her life unless you make the move. she is going to assume that you are not interested.
this applies to all women all the time.
the most help you will ever get is a flash of the eye or a bit of body language.
the rest is up to you.
Love n hugs
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