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Vorhidin · 11-14-2006, 12:19 AM

Hi

I'm enjoying this blog very much. I like this forum because of it's special atmosphere of collaboration and it's willingness orientation, and I've decided to ask you for help.

That's very rare on me -asking for help, I mean-. Not that I don't know how to do it, but I do it only when I feel that I need it, and/or when I feel that asking will help somehow.

So my problem is -AFAIK-, that I don't know what is my purpose in life.

Yes I know that Steve has some articles in his blog about how to find your purpose. I've done the purpose list two times, I've not cryed, but I finished exhausted. Although I've received some useful insights, I still don't know for what I'm still breathing.

I see myself starting one thing and not being constant. 'Forgetting' the next day what I decided the previous, and again at night being lucid, deciding to do great things but knowing that probably I wont keep on it. I'm not fulfilled not giving me in what I do, and never will be. I feel, I know and I've proved to me several times that I've good potential. Unfortunately I don't have a target, but two engines going each one in opposite directions.

Understand me, I'm not depressed, I smile, I have sense of humour, I feel interested about life, I've friends -very few but good-. And I have a great girlfriend that I love, and she loves me. I'm proud of many things in my life, I've learned many things, have scientific and artistic habilities, and I feel capable of helping people (I'm good motivating, ironically), but seems that I can't do it with myself. And I feel alone in this.

I feel like an alien. I don't know why I should do anything. I see my self doing only the minimum. But I die for having an objective, a goal, a reason, something that moves me to give a 100% instead of a 5%. This feeling hurts me in the inside. And almost makes me cry of emotion. I know I have many things to give. But I still don't know what to do with my life. I'm in crisis, And I like to be in crisis, because it's positive. But I need a change. I've been walking in circles, and have passed through this point so many times I can't remember. If I must summarize it in a phrase I would say that I'm paralyzed and confused. Every goal seems so "other people's" to me, that I don't really believe there could be one waiting for me.

I know that there are very intelligent and empathic people around here. You're my hope

I truly appreciate sincerity. I don't mind if it's not pleasant, really. And if you want to ask me something, feel free to do it. I'm willing to help on being helped.

11-14-2006, 12:19 AM	#1 (permalink)
Vorhidin Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Madrid Posts: 26	Lack of purpose Hi I'm enjoying this blog very much. I like this forum because of it's special atmosphere of collaboration and it's willingness orientation, and I've decided to ask you for help. That's very rare on me -asking for help, I mean-. Not that I don't know how to do it, but I do it only when I feel that I need it, and/or when I feel that asking will help somehow. So my problem is -AFAIK-, that I don't know what is my purpose in life. Yes I know that Steve has some articles in his blog about how to find your purpose. I've done the purpose list two times, I've not cryed, but I finished exhausted. Although I've received some useful insights, I still don't know for what I'm still breathing. I see myself starting one thing and not being constant. 'Forgetting' the next day what I decided the previous, and again at night being lucid, deciding to do great things but knowing that probably I wont keep on it. I'm not fulfilled not giving me in what I do, and never will be. I feel, I know and I've proved to me several times that I've good potential. Unfortunately I don't have a target, but two engines going each one in opposite directions. Understand me, I'm not depressed, I smile, I have sense of humour, I feel interested about life, I've friends -very few but good-. And I have a great girlfriend that I love, and she loves me. I'm proud of many things in my life, I've learned many things, have scientific and artistic habilities, and I feel capable of helping people (I'm good motivating, ironically), but seems that I can't do it with myself. And I feel alone in this. I feel like an alien. I don't know why I should do anything. I see my self doing only the minimum. But I die for having an objective, a goal, a reason, something that moves me to give a 100% instead of a 5%. This feeling hurts me in the inside. And almost makes me cry of emotion. I know I have many things to give. But I still don't know what to do with my life. I'm in crisis, And I like to be in crisis, because it's positive. But I need a change. I've been walking in circles, and have passed through this point so many times I can't remember. If I must summarize it in a phrase I would say that I'm paralyzed and confused. Every goal seems so "other people's" to me, that I don't really believe there could be one waiting for me. I know that there are very intelligent and empathic people around here. You're my hope I truly appreciate sincerity. I don't mind if it's not pleasant, really. And if you want to ask me something, feel free to do it. I'm willing to help on being helped.