Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - 'only the one who inflicts the pain can take it away'

healthymind · 08-04-2007, 04:39 PM

Why do you need someone else to change before you can feel good? I'm asking this because him changing is not within your influence and so all you are doing right now is handing responsibility for your emotional state over to someone who is absent and in all likelihood doesn't care a great deal.

Yes I know it hurts. Welcome to my last relationship. Closure can and will only come from you. And let me tell you closure starts with being pissed off about this. It might not seem positive but lets be honest and fair to you and recognise that you can't jump from depressed to positive in 5 seconds flat. What you can do though is give yourself some relief right now even if relief feels like anger. That's a vibrational step up from depression.

So reach for relief and maybe you want to repeat the affirmation I used to great effect when my engagement trainwrecked....

One day I will wake up and not think of him at all

before you go to sleep every night.

08-04-2007, 04:39 PM	#3 (permalink)
healthymind Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Australia Posts: 36	If you need him to change, you'll be unhappy Why do you need someone else to change before you can feel good? I'm asking this because him changing is not within your influence and so all you are doing right now is handing responsibility for your emotional state over to someone who is absent and in all likelihood doesn't care a great deal. Yes I know it hurts. Welcome to my last relationship. Closure can and will only come from you. And let me tell you closure starts with being pissed off about this. It might not seem positive but lets be honest and fair to you and recognise that you can't jump from depressed to positive in 5 seconds flat. What you can do though is give yourself some relief right now even if relief feels like anger. That's a vibrational step up from depression. So reach for relief and maybe you want to repeat the affirmation I used to great effect when my engagement trainwrecked.... One day I will wake up and not think of him at all before you go to sleep every night. Last edited by healthymind; 08-04-2007 at 04:42 PM.