[Zukin]

51. When you are trying to understand senseless behavior in others, it's often worthwhile to think back to this idea. Ask yourself, "Is this person merely seeking attention", and respond accordingly.
52. How to be cool:
A. Have a good understanding of the pop culture cool women like.
B. Look after your appearance. A good place to look for fashion tips is music videos. Concentrate on the ones that are popular with the women in the hip crowd. If you can dress like those in the videos, you'll probably do well.
C. Become a good communicator. Practice making things sound sexy and enticing. Look at how the cool people in movies do it, and try to learn their tricks. Don't just repeat movie lines verbatim - that's uncool - but try to figure out the techniques people like Quentin Tarantino use to make their characters sound hip.
D. Relax. Cool people are comfortable with themselves. Panic and stress are not typical emotions for them. If you can train yourself to keep a chilled head and a sharp wit while those around you are losing it, you're most definitely cool. Cool people also aren't desperate for approval. If you're running around trying to impress everybody in a panic, you'll just look like an idiot. Cool people know how to impress people while looking like they're putting in no effort whatsoever.
53. Generally, it's best just to tell people what they want to hear.
54. Don't be boring.
55. The world isn't cruel, it's indifferent.
56. Learn how to deal with pauses in conversations. Sometimes you can just relax and take a deep breath instead of blurting something out.
57. When trying to make a decision, use a cost benefit analysis with utility functions. Putting a numerical value on your decision can make you feel better about it.
58. Most advances are made just by trying stuff out.
59. Be aware of the enormous amount of hope that's invested in you (including billions of years of evolution).
60. Have a desperate hunger for new ideas.
61. Don't hate your body too much, it's the most amazing machine on the planet.
62. Look for the underlying pattern.
63. Be skeptical of fantastic claims.
64. A lot of bad behavior is just negotiation in disguise.
65. In most cases, when you find yourself having to deal with a troublemaker, the best thing to do is take a cold, rational look at what you stand to lose by dropping all relations with them. If it boils down to simply their friendship, or some kind of hazy reputational worries, then get away from them as fast as you can and don't come back. They're simply not worth it.
66. Use progressive relaxation to deal with anxiety.
67. Be honest with yourself.
68. Think of work not in terms of salary or bonuses, but instead in hourly rates. How much are you going to get paid for that hour of work you're putting in? What type of work could you be doing that pays even better? These are the types of question financially savvy people ask themselves.
69. Have the strength to continue even when the obstacles are difficult, much as our culture urges. But at the same time, have the wisdom to realize when you're in a hole and it's time to stop digging.
70. If there is a problem, bring things out into the open instead of operating on assumptions.
71. Beware of idealists and their seductive claims of easy answers. If you see someone living life around a few simple ideas, who becomes angry when those ideas are challenged, then you know you're dealing with a person who has the potential to be dangerous.
72. Human weakness is a fact of life. We all know it's there, and what the most common examples of it are. If you make plans and use strategies that acknowledge this weakness, you are much more likely to be successful.
73. Much of success in life revolves around understanding that we're engaged in a series of interlocking games - business, love, investing, status, careers, politics, parenthood, and so on. That's not to say the consequences of playing aren't serious, or even dangerous. Just because they're games, doesn't mean they aren't played hard and for keeps. Two main elements take a part in how well we'll do in these games - our level of understanding and chance. And often, it's the more sophisticated players who'll win, with chance deciding which one of them will walk away with the juiciest prizes. As in Monopoly, whining about the game being unfair, throwing tantrums or reckless cheating are bad strategies - unlikely to lead to success. Instead, you can trounce most of the other players simply by putting more effort into becoming an experienced player. Practice and study are the way to ensure the best rewards are likely to come your way.
74. As you're the one in control of how you spend your time consuming information, raise the standards of what you're willing to spend that time consuming. Limit yourself to only the spectacularly and obviously important, and let the rest die on the vine. Don't even waste one moment mourning its loss.
75. To become good at almost anything you have to prepared to feel: Confused, Scared, Like an imposter, Humiliated by the insiders, Bored, Like it's all too hard.
If these are the emotions you're facing, then you're almost certainly improving. The stronger they hit you, the more quickly you're going to become good. And the best way to feel these emotions is to play with those who are better than you. Put up with the humiliation and embarrassment. Watch and learn from them. Study hard from the literature. This is the way to get good at things.
76. Judge people by their long-term track record. What they've actually done, not what they say they'll do. It can be a harsh attitude, but it's one that generally pays well.
77. Asking yourself often "What's the worst that could happen?" is a good way of staying on top of the problems that cause stress and misery. Realizing that, whatever goes wrong, you'll likely deal with it - or putting yourself in a situation where it will be easy to survive the blow, is a great way of dealing with stress.
78. There are nine stages to becoming an expert:
A. Discovery and interest
B. Early self-teaching
C. Formal education
D. Humiliation
E. Serious attempts at professional improvement
F. The beating of local rivals
G. Youthful arrogance
H. Reality check and crashing back down to Earth
I. Realizing that you'll never come close to knowing everything
79. Collect some achievements you can be proud of
80. Don't be afraid to ask dumb questions
81. How to meet and charm women:
A. Go to where the competition isn't
B. Make friends and flirt with girls you aren't attracted to
C. Be discreet
D. Look after your appearance.
• Be ultra-hygenic. Wash daily, brush your teeth twice a day, wear new, clean, pressed clothes.
• Be more fashionable than those around you. Spend a bit of money on nice clothes. Get advice from women on what to wear. Skip the polo-shirt you got for free at that tech-conference or the t-shirt with your favorite band on it.
• Take care of your scent. Wear an expensive cologne, but think subtle not splashed everywhere. Eat mints after beer, spicy food, or coffee. Put on deodorant on a hot day, but again subtle not overwhelming.
• If you've got bad teeth, get them fixed. Straight, white teeth really improve your appearance.
• Keep your hair neat and well-cut.
• Lose the facial hair, nasal hair and ear hair.
E. Don't act like a jerk
F. If things are going badly, you're unlikely to be able to turn them around
G. Keep her away from your friends
H. Make it all about her
I. Don't rush her
J. When the time to strike comes, be bold. Ask her, "Would you like to have a kiss?"
82. Ingredients for a good life:
A. A good education
B. Something to live for
C. Good relationships
D. Spending less than you earn
E. Finding somewhere nice to live
F. Good health
G. A little fun and relaxation sometimes
83. The search for entertainment is the driving force behind much of what's going on in the world today.
84. Overcoming the weight of our need to be consistent is difficult, but here are some clear steps towards doing it:
• Consider that the alternatives may be legitimate for you.
• Research those alternatives and even give them a try.
• Be able to identify when an alternative would be of more benefit to you than sticking with your current path.
• Get started with rerouting your "river of the mind".
• Be strong enough to overcome the urge to shift back into the old groove during the early days of your change.
Using these steps can help you overcome bad consistencies. And even better, being able to do them is a skill that can be used again and again in all sorts of arenas. Just as you wouldn't take up running by attempting a marathon straight away, you should start small in training to beat the need for consistency. Give up a simple bad habit or take up an easy good one. Then, continue practicing until even overcoming quite difficult challenges becomes manageable. In most cases, maintaining consistency is important in our lives. Chaos and uncertainty aren't nice things to have around. But sometimes, that need for consistency can work against us. Make an effort to ensure this doesn't happen for you.
85. Find the right balance between improving your situation and enjoying it.