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Zukin · 08-04-2007, 02:37 PM

Paul's Tips is a personal development web site written by a guy who seems to be fairly successful. I've read through nearly all the articles, and he's got some great tips. Below I've summarized the tips for those who don't want to read over 200 articles

1. Effectiveness is the art of achieving a result while using the least amount of time, effort, and other resources.
2. If you consistently lose in games of skill, it's your fault. Have the guts to admit to yourself that if you're constantly failing in games of skill, you're the one to blame. Then, become determined to take concrete steps to turn things around. Search for new knowledge on the subject, practice, and work at improving. This is the strategy life's winners adopt.
3. Don't settle for the first thing that falls into your lap.
4. Learn how to separate superstition from fact.
5. Be willing to crash and burn sometimes. We are evolutionarily programmed to fear failure, since it might have meant death in early civilizations. Instead, realize that you can recover from failures.
6. You will never have perfect information. Get over it. Don't fall into analysis paralysis.
7. Learn how to develop an emotional connection with people.
8. Let people underestimate you.
9. Don't get too hung up on any one particular outcome.
10. Don't worry needlessly.
11. Be a super-friendly person.
12. Don't be a show-off. People aren't willing to appreciate those who demand their attention. They feel it's something that has to be earned and is their own to decide. They certainly aren't open to being bullied into handing it over. Believe me, if you've done something amazing, people will soon find out about it without you having to point it out to them. Sit back, be patient and wait for the respect to roll in. It will be that much more satisfying if you do.
13. Learn how to apologize. Learn how and when to apologize. Often, the pride and stubbornness you hold onto by refusing to back down isn't worth the price of a prolonged argument. An apology can do wonders for healing a difficult situation. And often, people will think better of you for it.
14. Many people pass on their problems to other people. Once you recognize this, you can prevent them from handing off their problems to you.
15. I think a good strategy in almost any area of life is to conduct a lot of small, cheap experiments and just see what happens. How unfair we think things are, how we think the world should work, and how cool we think some theory or saying sounds is all largely irrelevant. All that matters is what works. And the best way to figure that out is through experimentation.
16. Look for new and more constructive measures for creating meaning in life.
17. Be adaptable in a changing world.
18. Put a little bit of effort towards improving your situation every day.
19. The world is filled with opportunity.
20. Don't worry about getting everybody to like you. Some individuals use withholding their approval as a type of power play. If they see you as somebody competent or with status, they can hate you in order to try to prove themselves better. Others simply hate many people as a way of trying to obtain control over others. I'm sure you've come across many such people in your own life. Putting effort into charming people is an important life skill to have. But don't get too hung up on the fact that you'll come across some people who are immune to your charms. It's an inevitable part of life and something we all have to deal with.
21. How people can pretend to know a lot about you:
Here is an example of a common script similar to that used by psychologist Bertram Forer: "You have a deep need for others to like and admire you. You have a tendency to be overly critical of yourself at times. You have a lot of unused capacity, which you haven't been able to turn to your advantage. While you have some weaknesses in your personality, you're generally able to compensate for them. Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worried and insecure inside. Sometimes, you have real doubts whether you've made the right decision or done the right thing. You prefer some change and variety and feel locked in by limitations and restrictions. Some of your aspirations can be pretty unrealistic. Sometimes, you're extroverted and sociable, other times you're introverted and reserved".
Read the script above to many people, and they'll feel deeply that you're talking about them. They may even think you're some kind of psychological genius, or that you're blessed with supernatural powers. It's a great party trick, especially if you can dress it up with some kind of ritual and get the person alone.
Even easier are the truisms that relate to a person at specific times in their lives. For example, if you see that someone is a young man, you can say to them something like: "You have a lot of inner anger within which you sometimes have trouble repressing".
Other tricks can also be used. A person with rough hands has likely been exposed to a lot of manual work, for example.
The point is to let you know that people who use these tricks are trying to manipulate you. They're not really intuitive or gifted. They've simply been exposed to this technique and practiced using it to their advantage. It's a fun trick, but don't let them fool you into believing it's anything more.
22. Understand social proof. The general idea is that people are persuaded by what others appear to like. For example, if a group of people all like a particular person, others will also be influenced to like that person. Any kind of logical analysis of the person's strengths goes out the door. Simply because he's popular, he's liked.
23. Test yourself and your ideas out on reality. Rather than framing the feedback to fit what you wish were true, instead be honest with yourself. If the truths you discover are harsh, this is still better than living in a fantasy world. Understand reality, and you have a far better chance of influencing it to achieve your own ends.
24. Relationships are what really matter in life.
25. If you're not falling over sometimes, you're not trying hard enough.
26. Do lots of small favors for people to activate the principle of reciprocation.
27. Correlation does not equal causation.
28. Don't get too easily discouraged.
29. Focus on the opportunities of the future, not the tragedies of the past.
30. Feed people's need for recognition by giving them sincere compliments. Make the compliment brief and then move on with the conversation.
31. Be aware of your competing desires.
32. Get yourself some allies.
33. To maintain an open mind, ask yourself this one simple question: What evidence would it take to convince me my beliefs are wrong?
34. Know when to be logical rather than emotional.
35. Take a moment to appreciate the miracle of existence.
36. Instead of forcing yourself to exercise, find activities that you enjoy.
37. Develop resilience and deep inner strength.
38. Most people just want to have their biases reinforced.
39. Always be improving the quality of your rules of thumb.
40. Perfect contentment leads to stagnation.
41. Don't place too much weight on what people say. Instead, pay attention to their actions.
42. Develop additional sources of income.
43. Taking responsibility is easier than the alternatives.
44. There are all sorts of strategies for improving your creativity, but for my money discovering as much as you can about the real world is the best one. The more ideas you cram into your head from reality - the more you understand how it actually works - the more fascinating things you will be able to tell your audience. And after all, that's what they're doing the compliment of paying you attention for in the first place.
45. Take the time to learn lots of useful tricks. Many times, the difference between a winner and a loser doesn't all come down to innate ability. Instead, it rests on who's taken the time and effort to learn the most tricks. Fill your own magic bag with all sorts of them in as many fields as you can. And watch yourself zoom away from the competition.
46. Break down the walls in your mind and get rid of self-limiting beliefs.
47. A lot of success and failure is compounding. It's almost a question of momentum. Once you start moving in a certain direction, it doesn't take much extra effort to move even faster.
48. Most contests are winner-takes-all.
49. People value what they've sacrificed most for.
50. Salami tactics are extremely common in all sorts of areas of life. Watch for people who try to force compromises onto you one palatable bit at a time. They're almost surely trying to get those insignificant slices to add up to become one big sausage.

08-04-2007, 02:37 PM	#1 (permalink)
Zukin Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 718	Paul's Tips Paul's Tips is a personal development web site written by a guy who seems to be fairly successful. I've read through nearly all the articles, and he's got some great tips. Below I've summarized the tips for those who don't want to read over 200 articles 1. Effectiveness is the art of achieving a result while using the least amount of time, effort, and other resources. 2. If you consistently lose in games of skill, it's your fault. Have the guts to admit to yourself that if you're constantly failing in games of skill, you're the one to blame. Then, become determined to take concrete steps to turn things around. Search for new knowledge on the subject, practice, and work at improving. This is the strategy life's winners adopt. 3. Don't settle for the first thing that falls into your lap. 4. Learn how to separate superstition from fact. 5. Be willing to crash and burn sometimes. We are evolutionarily programmed to fear failure, since it might have meant death in early civilizations. Instead, realize that you can recover from failures. 6. You will never have perfect information. Get over it. Don't fall into analysis paralysis. 7. Learn how to develop an emotional connection with people. 8. Let people underestimate you. 9. Don't get too hung up on any one particular outcome. 10. Don't worry needlessly. 11. Be a super-friendly person. 12. Don't be a show-off. People aren't willing to appreciate those who demand their attention. They feel it's something that has to be earned and is their own to decide. They certainly aren't open to being bullied into handing it over. Believe me, if you've done something amazing, people will soon find out about it without you having to point it out to them. Sit back, be patient and wait for the respect to roll in. It will be that much more satisfying if you do. 13. Learn how to apologize. Learn how and when to apologize. Often, the pride and stubbornness you hold onto by refusing to back down isn't worth the price of a prolonged argument. An apology can do wonders for healing a difficult situation. And often, people will think better of you for it. 14. Many people pass on their problems to other people. Once you recognize this, you can prevent them from handing off their problems to you. 15. I think a good strategy in almost any area of life is to conduct a lot of small, cheap experiments and just see what happens. How unfair we think things are, how we think the world should work, and how cool we think some theory or saying sounds is all largely irrelevant. All that matters is what works. And the best way to figure that out is through experimentation. 16. Look for new and more constructive measures for creating meaning in life. 17. Be adaptable in a changing world. 18. Put a little bit of effort towards improving your situation every day. 19. The world is filled with opportunity. 20. Don't worry about getting everybody to like you. Some individuals use withholding their approval as a type of power play. If they see you as somebody competent or with status, they can hate you in order to try to prove themselves better. Others simply hate many people as a way of trying to obtain control over others. I'm sure you've come across many such people in your own life. Putting effort into charming people is an important life skill to have. But don't get too hung up on the fact that you'll come across some people who are immune to your charms. It's an inevitable part of life and something we all have to deal with. 21. How people can pretend to know a lot about you: Here is an example of a common script similar to that used by psychologist Bertram Forer: "You have a deep need for others to like and admire you. You have a tendency to be overly critical of yourself at times. You have a lot of unused capacity, which you haven't been able to turn to your advantage. While you have some weaknesses in your personality, you're generally able to compensate for them. Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worried and insecure inside. Sometimes, you have real doubts whether you've made the right decision or done the right thing. You prefer some change and variety and feel locked in by limitations and restrictions. Some of your aspirations can be pretty unrealistic. Sometimes, you're extroverted and sociable, other times you're introverted and reserved". Read the script above to many people, and they'll feel deeply that you're talking about them. They may even think you're some kind of psychological genius, or that you're blessed with supernatural powers. It's a great party trick, especially if you can dress it up with some kind of ritual and get the person alone. Even easier are the truisms that relate to a person at specific times in their lives. For example, if you see that someone is a young man, you can say to them something like: "You have a lot of inner anger within which you sometimes have trouble repressing". Other tricks can also be used. A person with rough hands has likely been exposed to a lot of manual work, for example. The point is to let you know that people who use these tricks are trying to manipulate you. They're not really intuitive or gifted. They've simply been exposed to this technique and practiced using it to their advantage. It's a fun trick, but don't let them fool you into believing it's anything more. 22. Understand social proof. The general idea is that people are persuaded by what others appear to like. For example, if a group of people all like a particular person, others will also be influenced to like that person. Any kind of logical analysis of the person's strengths goes out the door. Simply because he's popular, he's liked. 23. Test yourself and your ideas out on reality. Rather than framing the feedback to fit what you wish were true, instead be honest with yourself. If the truths you discover are harsh, this is still better than living in a fantasy world. Understand reality, and you have a far better chance of influencing it to achieve your own ends. 24. Relationships are what really matter in life. 25. If you're not falling over sometimes, you're not trying hard enough. 26. Do lots of small favors for people to activate the principle of reciprocation. 27. Correlation does not equal causation. 28. Don't get too easily discouraged. 29. Focus on the opportunities of the future, not the tragedies of the past. 30. Feed people's need for recognition by giving them sincere compliments. Make the compliment brief and then move on with the conversation. 31. Be aware of your competing desires. 32. Get yourself some allies. 33. To maintain an open mind, ask yourself this one simple question: What evidence would it take to convince me my beliefs are wrong? 34. Know when to be logical rather than emotional. 35. Take a moment to appreciate the miracle of existence. 36. Instead of forcing yourself to exercise, find activities that you enjoy. 37. Develop resilience and deep inner strength. 38. Most people just want to have their biases reinforced. 39. Always be improving the quality of your rules of thumb. 40. Perfect contentment leads to stagnation. 41. Don't place too much weight on what people say. Instead, pay attention to their actions. 42. Develop additional sources of income. 43. Taking responsibility is easier than the alternatives. 44. There are all sorts of strategies for improving your creativity, but for my money discovering as much as you can about the real world is the best one. The more ideas you cram into your head from reality - the more you understand how it actually works - the more fascinating things you will be able to tell your audience. And after all, that's what they're doing the compliment of paying you attention for in the first place. 45. Take the time to learn lots of useful tricks. Many times, the difference between a winner and a loser doesn't all come down to innate ability. Instead, it rests on who's taken the time and effort to learn the most tricks. Fill your own magic bag with all sorts of them in as many fields as you can. And watch yourself zoom away from the competition. 46. Break down the walls in your mind and get rid of self-limiting beliefs. 47. A lot of success and failure is compounding. It's almost a question of momentum. Once you start moving in a certain direction, it doesn't take much extra effort to move even faster. 48. Most contests are winner-takes-all. 49. People value what they've sacrificed most for. 50. Salami tactics are extremely common in all sorts of areas of life. Watch for people who try to force compromises onto you one palatable bit at a time. They're almost surely trying to get those insignificant slices to add up to become one big sausage. Last edited by Zukin; 08-04-2007 at 02:44 PM.