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Originally Posted by Ree  In the past I had a mental filing cabinet full of wrongs done to me by other people, things that made me angry or hurt my feelings or embarrassed me or that I felt were put in my way as obstacles to hinder my progress. I kept these files in meticulous order and cross referenced them and filed them numerically and alphabetically. I mean I WORKED HARD on this mental filing cabinet!
When I encountered someone, I could mentally open up a drawer and pull the file and review all the negative events of the past associated with that person. This created a filter through which I saw the person and affected my relationships greatly.
One of the first things I did when I began my journey into PD was to mentally empty that filing cabinet and shred every file. GONE. That's one way the past affects the present and it was entirely my creation. And I am here to tell you, what a relief it was to be rid of it!!!! |
That should be read over and over again and memorised! People you encounter never let you down but act exactly the way you expect. If you "know" that this person is inconsiderate because of your recent encounters, he will continue to be one. But if you can approach an encounter with a clear mind, you will be pleasantly surprised.
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Originally Posted by ming I agree. If you don´t remember your past you won´t know how to talk, eat, relate, function. you won´t remember your address, relatives, colleagues. You will be in a vegetative state, in a coma or like a newborn.
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You do know that there are two types of memory? That is a rather simplified approach to your argument, but nevertheless. I am not going to bother you with scientific terms, but one type is for remembering events and occurrences while the other is for remembering facts and details. With correctly aimed brain damage you can turn the former off, so all you have left is your address, relatives, colleagues; the knowledge how to talk, eat, relate, function. You no longer consciously perceive time and can't access past memories or plan the future the way you used to. You know you played basketball the day before but only as a fact - you don't actually remember you doing that.
So it is entirely possible to not remember your own past.
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Originally Posted by Tam9 An example would be if you were physically abused and permanent scars were left on your being. As much as you'd like to put the memory of it in the past, the physical reminder would exist in the present. Regardless of the presence/absence of psychological pain or forgiveness etc., the physical pain would exist in the past, present and future. |
There is no rule that says those scars equal the physical pain. If you are reminded of the pain because of the scars, it is only because you choose to be reminded. If you were to accept what happened and put it behind you, those scars need not be more of an issue for you than a birth mark. If you still insist on being reminded of the physical pain every time you notice the scars, you are just not there yet.
As this topic is clearly not of something that can be discussed in scientific terms that were previously agreed upon, I would like to ask all the participants not to be so literal with each other statements. In most philosophical or even psychological conversations there is always something left for interpretation.