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Originally Posted by Tam9  An example would be if you were physically abused and permanent scars were left on your being. As much as you'd like to put the memory of it in the past, the physical reminder would exist in the present. Regardless of the presence/absence of psychological pain or forgiveness etc., the physical pain would exist in the past, present and future. |
That's a great example! If I am now experiencing the physical pain from an injury sustained by, let's say, political torture or my brother stepping on my foot when I was five, that doesn't mean I have to choose to continue to feel the emotional pain I experienced in kindergarten or prison.
Once the event is over, the physical pain is still real, but the emotional pain is elective. The physical pain only has to remind you of the originating event or the ensuing emotional pain if you
insist that it does. This is not a matter of sweeping memories under the rug; it's a matter of taking with you what you need, and leaving the rest where it belongs.
That does not mean I can't remember and evaluate the pain and use what I glean to avoid getting stepped on or electrocuted again! No one here has said that events we've experienced have no relevance to the moment we're currently living.