I don't think the advice is to deny the past and avoid dealing with it. It's to realize that it is in fact the past and you can choose whether or not to keep reliving it in the present. I for one would rather not. Some of that stuff sucked. It was painful. But right now in this moment...that's another story. No one is lying to me or calling me names or neglecting me. Those things may have happened to me before, but I choose to continually punish myself with them if I live in the past rather than the present.
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