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Originally Posted by Merr  I don't think that you've done anything wrong. It seems to me that his perspective is this: Someone he didn't know very well invited him to a party which he wanted to attend but didn't feel comfortable going to alone. He thought that you would eventually give in to his repeated texts and go with him. When he realised that you weren't going to reply, he had a choice: stay home or go to the party. However, deciding to go and not feeling comfortable around other people, he probably hoped that you would go over to him first and felt rejected that you didn't. I think that speaking to the host first was basic etiquette but I can see how this played in your friend's mind. He felt uncomfortable, alone and rejected. The situation got worse in his mind, so he decided to leave.
I actually think that if he found that experience negative enough, he may just decide not to get in touch with you. It really depends on how many friends he has. In your position, I would probably have sought him out once I got to the party but his reaction was over the top.
It sounds to me like this isn't a one-off incident and you've hinted that there's the possibility that he is looking for more from you than you're able to give. I think that you need to ask yourself this when deciding whether or not to let go of the relationship: is there anything positive that you would miss? Sure, he might be nice sometimes, but is it something that you would actually miss?
Like you, I am in the situation of letting a friendship go because tbh, I won't miss him much. |
Thanks Merr.
You nailed it. Thats exactly how it was and Im sure thats what he felt.
Yes I shouldve said hello when I saw him in the corner of my eye. And I almost surprised myself when I didnt. But I just didnt feel like after all those texts. He often gives me a guilt trip, or just has something critical to say, and I just could not handle it that night. I could not handle him bringing me down bc he thought that I was immoral for not coming to the party with him. I didnt invite him to that party. I would not have if I had the choice.
I will miss him. And thats why I called left him a voicemail and texted and I writing here. because I do care. but I dont feel like going beyond that now.
I know him well enough and it feels like he is trying to punish me. And I wont take that. Its immature. And yes, from all the friends I have, I do feel like he takes the most energy