Moonlite, I actually agree with some of your ideas. The theory of splitting is interesting.
However it seems to me that using these arguments to condemn masturbation is an overkill and leads to a comic effect.
Bringing higher matters to sex, should happen after basic sexual problems are sorted out. And the most basic problem of sex for most men is its insufficiency.
You do not talk about high cuisine to a starving person. And after a couple of days, a relatively young man who hadn't have release is starving for it.
So if someone does not have a girlfriend, they should masturbate and then, when satisfied, they would be able to think about splitting themselves, about whether sex is about animalistic instincts or the connection with other soul.
Without partner, these thoughts would be theoretic, but so are your attempts at male view of the situation.
The truth is - you start with making peace with your inner animal. The human in us is just a few thousands years old, and in sexual area we are still very close to animals. Being ashame of it is social conditioning and leads to disjointed and problems in sex area. Accepting the primal nature of sex frees the mind from upholding social dogmas. It allows to "be in the zone" during sex, to experience total immersion. Even the connection you are talking about becomes ultimate, when the chatter inside my head shuts up and suddenly, two souls merge into one, two breaths become the one, two minds and two hearts become the one and bodies seem to disappear altogether.
Then, when this becomes the usual, it is possible to become conscious of what's happening. Conscious in a very special, non-verbal way. Then it is possible to elevate the natural act to the level of art and transcendence.
To start with as I might say top down approach, seems unreasonable, at least from the male point of view.