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Originally Posted by Erin Pavlina  In my experience I have found that character is the most important thing because that is what is unlikely to change. If they are honest when you meet them, they will probably still be honest 20 years later. |
I'm curious why honesty wasn't in your top four Erin? Can you manifest honesty in a person you already have a relationship with? For example, if you had manifested a man with the top four, but who wasn't honest, could you "manifest" him into being honest?
I recently was trying to sort out what the basis of love between a man and a woman should be in my ideal relationship and ironically I came up with the opposite conclusion. I concluded that someone who, for example, might not be cheating on you in the beginning, may find himself in a situation where he will do so later on, likewise with lying.
I consider that even any characteristic has the potential to change in either direction contigent upon the specific circumstances/environment of the individuals. I have experiences where honest, responsible men of few words either lie or make promises they don't or can't keep, then don't deal responsibly or with any sense of accountability. I have frequently seen people decline in character and change from what was considered their norm. For example, by default, I don't lie. However, the last couple of months, I have been lying a bit, because I have moved to a very sick country. Moreover, I have felt and thought things in this country that I have never done in my entire life, things that are bad to think, that I will stop thinking again once I leave here. For this reason, I don't consider honesty or other good attributes to be unchanging characteristics by any stretch of the imagination. People change, to whatever extent their conscience will let them, to adapt to their environment. In many cases, it could just be dumb luck that a man doesn't cheat on his wife or start lying to her - the circumstances which would bring that aspect out of him never arose.
As rare as it is, I suppose you can actually find honest or mostly honest males and females in the world. What I cannot find is someone who understands me, and also who I understand, and on a profound level. I have found only one person like this, but he falls short in just about every other desireable characteristic category.
Also, you can't tell what a person is really "made of" if they are a prisoner of a life of intimidation forced on them by family and/or culture, for example. This situation doesn't apply to the majority of people we know, but it applies in my situation.
In the end, perhaps even your experience of a person's characteristics is just a manifestation of what you personally attracted, or of a personal beliefe, and not of the actual potential for changeability of characteristics in general.