Quote:
Originally Posted by Alvin  The reason I ask is because I suspect a friend of mine is trapped in an unhealthy relationship where the girl threatens suicide whenever he wants to leave, and I don't know how to help him out with that.
I recognize that it takes both hands to clap, and that I might not know both sides of the story, but it seems to me she's hardly independent enough to create an rock-solid interdependent relationship. |
Is it possible that he hasn't fully made up his mind about whether or not he really wants to leave her? It sucks to see a good friend making painful decisions, but he might not accept whatever help you give him. People can find it very difficult to leave codependent relationships.
He probably needs some education. From a practical sense, on how to deal with suicide threats. From a personal development sense, he may not even be aware of the situation he's in. You could always try creative ways to mirror his situation to him, enabling him to really "see" what's happening, that he may be blinding himself to (or too close in proximity to see clearly).
I'm not sure how you'd go about doing that, though. The only example I have is back when I was very verbally self-abusive, always telling my boyfriend how stupid I was, or what a screw-up, etc. He realized that disagreeing was having no effect. So one day he switched strategies and starting agreeing with me. That was like a stick in the eye; hurt like hell! Why was he saying such horrible things to me? Well, it's what I was saying to myself. And it took me hearing these things from another source to realize how horrible they really were.
So perhaps there's a way to show your friend how he's letting his situation harm him, too.
But definitely do some research and arm your friend with information on how to help a suicidal person, in case this girl really is in trouble.