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1. Decide what you want in a partner
2. When you find someone new measure him or her against your list
3. If he or she doesn’t have the top attributes let him or her go, don’t waste time.
4. Keep looking, don’t settle, until you find what you really want.
5. Then buy him or her some lifesavers. Trust me, this is a very important step.
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To make your list, use character and personality traits.
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So I've fallen into relationships that last but have also felt like I always settle. My list has been more of a list with things in common, like likes to camp or activity stuff and then just say chemistry and understanding to cover everything else. I wonder how much that plays into making a relationship work really good. I have seen myself fall for women that have the quailties in character but then wonder that it won't work because she's not a skier, for example.
What about the approach that by not knowing what you want you can "try out" a relationship to help define what you want? That someone comes along and turns your head and then you say that's because I want that quality that she has? How would I know what I want unless I've had a hit of it?
Erin: was your list completly character traits? I guess being a good father is a combo of the character trait of being a good father but also a big activity or common life goal of a family.
And how do people realize they want kids or not? I know the feeling but wonder if it's something I want for sure. Society and friends tell me it's the best thing to do. But there are so many people on earth now. At least my parents don't require grandkids so they are not pressure. One friend of mine that has kinds says they are the best "toys" and feels that he will always have someone to look after him if he's in the hospital about to die and stuff - that his kids will visit him and make sure he's getting taken care of. As opposed to being someone with no imdeiate family and just being at the mercy of the care takers who don't really know you or don't have the same investment to take care of you like your own family would.