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digitaldoorbell · 07-29-2007, 05:35 AM

I am brand new to this site. Despite the best of intentions, we all approach problem solving with our own biases. Being aware that we have them helps.
First of all, I am truly very sorry for the pain that you are feeling. I want to tell you a little story though.

I am a 50 year old man and have been married for almost 20 years. I am reasonably successful, reasonably educated and so is my spouse. I have a wonderful 15 year old son. I have been separated for 20 months and it is apparent that my marriage is over notwithstanding the patience, kindness and maturity that I've demonstrated (largely for the sake of my son).

The exact same experiences that you are confronted with are borne from the character of your girlfriend. The fact that she is doing this now is highly probative of the fact that she can and will do this in the future. The thing is, I was once a young man too and thought that "today" was "forever". But it's not. I have two homes that are paid for, an adolescent son and a spouse that is exhibiting the same behavior as your girl friend. To be honest, I would endure anything for my son. At this point, he understands the situation and I have to file for divorce. What I'm saying is, and please forgive me if it sounds shallow, you are a young and healthy man. The pain that you're feeling is just a mask and you have an opportunity to learn many things about yourself. I work with seriously emotionally distrubed children, adolescents and adults. I finally understand, "there but for the grace of God go I". So many people would give anything to be young or healthy, or able to travel. You don't see it, feel it, smell it or taste it, but the truth is that you're a very lucky person. Because you will me wiser and smarter from this, you will select people with the same engergy, interest, respect and appreciation for you, themselves and life. Right now, life is a hard job and the hours are a ♥♥♥♥♥.

I wish you all the luck in the world and wish that you could see that it's already on it's way.

Take care

07-29-2007, 05:35 AM	#15 (permalink)
digitaldoorbell Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 1	Your Loss May Be A Gift I am brand new to this site. Despite the best of intentions, we all approach problem solving with our own biases. Being aware that we have them helps. First of all, I am truly very sorry for the pain that you are feeling. I want to tell you a little story though. I am a 50 year old man and have been married for almost 20 years. I am reasonably successful, reasonably educated and so is my spouse. I have a wonderful 15 year old son. I have been separated for 20 months and it is apparent that my marriage is over notwithstanding the patience, kindness and maturity that I've demonstrated (largely for the sake of my son). The exact same experiences that you are confronted with are borne from the character of your girlfriend. The fact that she is doing this now is highly probative of the fact that she can and will do this in the future. The thing is, I was once a young man too and thought that "today" was "forever". But it's not. I have two homes that are paid for, an adolescent son and a spouse that is exhibiting the same behavior as your girl friend. To be honest, I would endure anything for my son. At this point, he understands the situation and I have to file for divorce. What I'm saying is, and please forgive me if it sounds shallow, you are a young and healthy man. The pain that you're feeling is just a mask and you have an opportunity to learn many things about yourself. I work with seriously emotionally distrubed children, adolescents and adults. I finally understand, "there but for the grace of God go I". So many people would give anything to be young or healthy, or able to travel. You don't see it, feel it, smell it or taste it, but the truth is that you're a very lucky person. Because you will me wiser and smarter from this, you will select people with the same engergy, interest, respect and appreciation for you, themselves and life. Right now, life is a hard job and the hours are a ♥♥♥♥♥. I wish you all the luck in the world and wish that you could see that it's already on it's way. Take care