I have never talked to anyone about this before, and I know I shouldn’t feel embarrassed but I am. My whole life I have felt that if I told people some of the things that have happened to me that I would be regarded as crazy. I am just really curious about the experiences I have had and want to get some feedback on it. Let me give you a little bit of background info:
As far back as I can remember dreaming, I have been able to have lucid dreams. There were times in my life where I had many of them, and they were almost annoying because I would consistently wake up and have trouble getting back to sleep. At first I would wake up almost instantly, but slowly I began to get more control. I finally was able to balance in between getting caught up in the emotion of the dream and forgetting I was dreaming and losing control, or changing things to rapidly and waking up. I am now able to make great changes in dreams and it is magnificent. I haven’t had one in about a year though- mainly because I am in nursing school (very stressful) and my dreams are usually about my studies. Also- when I don’t lucid dream, my dreams are strange, they can be very vivid and very long, almost like whole lifetimes. Sometimes it is hard to adjust because the dreams are so life-like, I wake up and just want to go back to sleep, go back to the other life.
When I was younger a friend of mine wanted to try hypnotism on me. We practiced an exercise where I was to imagine an orb flowing over me and absorbing in my negative energy. When she did this to me, I felt a pleasant tingle on my feet, which gradually got stronger, followed by my legs, arms and torso, and when It got to my head suddenly the room started spinning, as if I had too much to drink (although I was 14 I hadn’t even tasted alcohol yet). I began to feel very anxious and wanted it to stop, and it did, but I felt very strange as if.. Well I really don’t know how to describe it. I was very scared and promised myself I would never try hypnotism again.
A few years ago I had a psychology professor who was studying hypnotism. She offered to hypnotize any of us if we were interested. I had a lot of trouble sleeping so I asked her to teach me a self-hypnosis method that might help me sleep.
The beginning of the hypnotism was very cheesy, babbling brook kind of stuff, but then it started to work.. I was very relaxed, almost sleeping which would never happen to me (very picky sleeper) on a hard school desk. I felt as if I lost consciousness, but then it happened again! I began to get those tinglys (I really thought they were cool) but the spinning happened and it scared me. I told myself to relax, that it was just what hypnotism felt like.
Maybe I was hypnotized, but I remember every bit of it. I was in a heightened state of awareness, it felt very strange. I could feel and hear everything it seemed and vibrations were running through me. I didn’t move though, I never saw my body, actually I can’t remember if I saw anything. After a minute or so of this I did feel a bit anxious and wanted to stop it. Suddenly I snapped out of it and it was before the professor was even finished.
I thought it worked great! I was excited to try it out. I tried it the next time I woke up in the night, and I had what I thought were awake dreams. I was lying in bed, with my eyes open, and saw hallucinations. I thought I was half dreaming. It was bizarre, but it only lasted a few seconds.
I was a little nervous about having another “wake dream” experience so I waited a while before trying it again. This time I adapted a little from what the teacher did and a little from the original hypnotism my friend did to me. It was early in the morning, maybe 6am, but I wanted to sleep in, but couldn't because it was very bright in my room. I tried it again. I seemed to fall asleep but then something woke me up suddenly. It was happening and it was super strong and very unpleasant. The room was spinning, my body was numb. I had this feeling of doom and I could see my arms and legs, but I was looking at my ceiling.
*For the following please note, I may have been dreaming* There was a demon there. I cannot tell you how I know this, but it wanted me. It was very vivid. I was spinning and numb and paralyzed with fear. It was laughing at how scared I was- It was enjoying this, although I could not see the being, I was able to see, I could feel it, it was above me, showing me words and symbols and things to scare me, and I tried to look away but it would go wherever I looked. I wanted to wake up, but I couldn’t, and I thought it was going to kill me. It felt like I was being attacked, but not in a painful way. I tried to reach my hand over and hit the bar on my bed to wake up my mom and have her wake me up, but it wasn’t working, if felt like I moved, but the bed made no noise. This went on for at least five minutes. I could not leave and I could not escape this thing. When I did wake up, it wasn’t like waking up from sleep. I didn’t open my eyes- it just ended, I could move, and I felt as if a weight had been lifted from me.
At first I thought it was sleep paralysis, but that wouldn’t last for five minutes, and I saw things, hallucinations maybe? Was this a side effect from sloppy hypnotism? Was it all a dream and I just didn’t realize it? I never even heard of astral projection until last night. Does my ability to lucid dream have anything to do with this? Am I just crazy? If I am capable of Astral projection, what do I do when this happens and is that thing still going to attack me? Was it a demon? Can it possess me? *shudder*
Thank you whoever takes the time to read all this and answer my questions, I really appreciate it!
Hopefully I can help you guys with lucid dreams!