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Lynn 007 · 07-28-2007, 01:35 AM

QUESTION: Why did the chicken cross the road?

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: It was an historical inevitability.

HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by cooperatively rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes.

Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best Total Quality Management (TQM) chickens along with Andersen consultants with penetrative skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergise with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.

The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful and continues to progress the management of its transition across the road.

DR. SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road?

Did he cross it with a toad?

Yes! The chicken crossed the road,

but why it crossed, I've not been told!

GRANDPA In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN: I forget.... What chicken? What is a chicken?

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

BOB MARLEY: To lay it on d' line, brother.

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please? I did not, and I repeat, I did NOT have sexual relations with that chicken.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

JOHN HOWARD: Because I said there would never, ever, ever be a GST on chickens. Roast chickens?...that's another matter.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2005, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your chequebook. And Internet Explorer is an integral part of Chicken Office 2005.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals you are subconsciously sexually conflicted. Please make an appointment.

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically predisposed to cross roads.

OBI WAN KANOBI: To be as one with The Force.

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

07-28-2007, 01:35 AM	#380 (permalink)
Lynn 007 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 367	Why did the chicken cross the road? QUESTION: Why did the chicken cross the road? KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side. PLATO: For the greater good. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. KARL MARX: It was an historical inevitability. HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas. TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take. ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by cooperatively rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best Total Quality Management (TQM) chickens along with Andersen consultants with penetrative skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergise with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful and continues to progress the management of its transition across the road. DR. SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told! GRANDPA In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. RONALD REAGAN: I forget.... What chicken? What is a chicken? CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it? BOB MARLEY: To lay it on d' line, brother. RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road. BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please? I did not, and I repeat, I did NOT have sexual relations with that chicken. MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was. JOHN HOWARD: Because I said there would never, ever, ever be a GST on chickens. Roast chickens?...that's another matter. JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?" BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2005, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your chequebook. And Internet Explorer is an integral part of Chicken Office 2005. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals you are subconsciously sexually conflicted. Please make an appointment. DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically predisposed to cross roads. OBI WAN KANOBI: To be as one with The Force. EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature. COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?