[Bradshaw]

OK, this is somewhat hard to express in words but i really want to get this out here, so i'll do my best to express it. Hopefully someone can give me some good clarification. I've always been keen of Erin's blog for some reason and then just the other day it completely hit me. I was thinking about the Law of Attraction with my eyes closed and something that i hadn't thought about at all for a very long time came to me. It's really a bunch of experiences i had when i was a kid. I had TOTALLY forgot about this but it just hit me in my thoughts.

Basically, when i was 10-11 years old, at night, i had "dreams". However, i can absolutely guarantee they were not dreams. It was perfectly, totally, scary-real. It felt so real and was so real. These "dreams" were reality, for sure. I've had lucid dreams many times and even as i remember these "dreams" now i clearly remember how scary REAL they were, even though this happened about 9-10 years ago. These "dreams" basically took place while i was in my bed.


I clearly remember four of these "dreams". There were more, but i can't seem to remember them.

1. In bed. There is a wall right next to the bed. Not the room wall, that was also there. There was the room wall AND another wall "created" on the side of the bed where i'm supposed to exit the bed. I was of course extremely terrified, and just went back to bed and tried to fall asleep. I don't remember much else.

2. In bed. And this felt so real...i can remember the smell even now. An extremely bad smell just appeared, i can't describe it, it just smelled really, really bad. I just hid under the covers until the smell passed away. I clearly remember it took forever... It never did pass until i feel asleep. No matter where i moved in my bed. I breathed with my mouth but i think it felt really uncomfortable at the time because i took so long to fall asleep. I also remember i had music class the next day.

3. In bed. I basically, again, in bed, heard my uncle, my aunt, and my cousins talking from outside for a long time. I could hear them perfectly. I can't remember anything that they said now. When i "woke up" i asked if they were actually there. Of course, they weren't.

4. In bed. Oh boy... this one. I had a small white statue of Jesus next to me in my old apartment. I look at my desk, and it's there, MOVING and STARING at me. Not just one, a bunch of these statues just looking at me from my desk. They weren't just still, and i remember this. They were slightly moving. I do remember they had somewhat of a glow to them. Yeah it's jesus and all... but terrifying anyway.

Here's the thing about these experiences and the others i can't recall. Closing my eyes was futile. When i closed my eyes i could still see everything. However, at some point i learned something. You know when you close your eyes? Now, you can either look directly into the darkness in them or not. When i did that, i saw everything clearly. However, i learned to look at nothing. This is hard to explain. Basically you close your eyes, but instead of looking at the darkness in front of you, you look at the lower left corner. You look at nothing basically. I learned to do this, and i do believe these experiencies stopped shortly after that. Funny thing is, i've kept this technique all my life. It was normal for me to just look directly in front of my eyes when i close them. But now i always, unconsciously really, look right into a corner when my eyes are closed and look at nothing.

As i'm writing this i remember actually having a dream where it was dark and i was walking down this street. It was a normal dream. Then waking from that dream in my bed. And then having one of the above experiences. I'm also remembering one of these "dreams" where the curtains of the window were moving and another where my toy dinossaur was just duplicated all over the room, much like the jesus statue experience, and his eyes glowing red.

The thing is these experiences just felt so real. Damn, they were real...absolutely. They just didn't have that dream aura to them. I could remember them clearly at the time, every time... and they were just... real. Also the length of time in some of them. The one with the smell, it took me forever to fall asleep.

You may ask. "Why didn't you just get up from bed and look around" or "Why didn't you just turn on the lights". Remember, i was a kid, and i guess a pretty cowardly one, and this was completely real. I was just totally terrified. I just tucked in my bed, moving very little, closed my eyes with the above method and just tried to fall asleep.

Well that took me quite a while to write down as i remembered more details. It's funny the stuff that your logical mind will filter out. So, has anyone ever had similiar experiences? Can anyone relate to this? Anyone have an opinion on my experiences? I'm not really into psychic and paranormal stuff so some of the stuff i've written might actually be a topic that's familiar to someone or something.