I'll clarify the "IT IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS".
First off, the reason why I am writing it this clearly and short is because that is the short hand for me for everything that comes next
Not for you guys, but for me...
Second, I write it on purpose like this because this is a radical thought change, and it takes some time to make this a habit that sticks, not only in doing (I'm doing pretty well in that regard, but also in thinking and in being).
What do I mean by "IT IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS";
Of course his sexuality as it goes towards me is my business... I am there having sex with him, there is no separation possible.
Of course I can and will tell him when I am not happy with something, when I want a change in something.
However, I also grant him the freedom to do with that request whatever it is that he decides to do. At that moment my only decision would be if I want to continue this relationship with the decision that he made or not.
My trying to control his 'personal development' with regards to sex, which includes trying to get him to go to a doctor for testing, trying to get him to lose weight, trying to get him to eat healthier, trying to analyze him to see where this comes from and to see what there is to do about this.... all those things are none of my business.
If this were a deal breaker for me I would have left (or would leave). Certain things are deal breakers for me. Cruelty to animals, not loving me, not touching me, not listening to me etc.
If those would be gone some day and he would not be willing to change that or I wouldn't see any change, I would leave.
Sex, no matter how important, is apparently not a deal breaker for me
This came as sort of a surprise, but I realized that I can have a certain attitude about sex and sexuality without making it too important. Or more important then it really is (for me).
So what happens when a person you love doesn't meet a criteria that you would consider "nice to have" but not a deal breaker? You make the choice to live with it