Originally Posted by James81
Perhaps I'm the only one who reads this and thinks that telling yourself that your husbands sexuality is none of your business seems like an attempt to bury your head in the sand. If there's one thing that IS your business, it's your husband's desire for you and the intimacy that comes with that.
James, you are not the only one. I think "It's none of my business" is a mantra to dissociate one's *self-worth* from behaviour of the other (to make self-worth unconditional) but it is a poor one because as you said her husbands sexual desire towards her is quite telling of were Sandra is/was. He is her mirror.
Sandra's prior attitude towards sex (angsty feelings, expectations, dissatisfaction with them not being met) was exactly the reason her husband didn't want to have sex with her. Her attitude changed and as a result she became a MUCH more attractive woman and now her husband wants to bang her. I wouldn't be surprised if he starts feeling very studly soon and actually seek other women while it would be getting hotter and hotter between him and her.
@Sandra - big props on the inner change. That change will have a bigger effect on your husband's desire for you than diet-exercise-lifestyle combined. You can bring up diet-exercise-lifestyle but not directly. If he has any good male friends, talk to them so that they can talk to him without mentioning you.