[Pat]

I just read your comments on self-acceptance and personal growth. I am glad you commented on this; it is an important issue. The reason I responded is because, although you have the right to say and do what you want, I want to give others a different view point.
Some of the things you mentioned under hardcore lifestyle habits are what some people consider normal. For some people getting a job and showing up would be a hardcore activity--while others build their lives around their vocation. For some people eating bugs is normal and for others eating fruits and vegetables is normal. It is when we stray from normal, whether good or bad, that we feel the stress of change. But change is temporary, and after awhile the new becomes normal. Unfortunately no matter how normal anything is it doesn’t mean that it is good. One example could be cigarettes, there was a time when ‘everyone’ smoked; doctors even promoted smoking. And we’re ‘all’ taught to eat meat. We are learning to improve on that also. Doing what is normal is not necessarily good.
If you want to feel better about yourself, what I call being content, the solution is to feel good about the choices you make in life. The only thing we have some control over is our choices. We can’t take complete credit for the outcomes of our choices, but we have to take responsibility for the choices. Choose how you want to be and then choose what you must do to be that person and do that. Trying to be the person we want to be is the way to happiness.
When I hear someone say ‘self-acceptance’ it sounds like giving up. What life is, once you clear away all the fluff and baloney, is about trying. It is the doing of things that constitutes life. It is up to us to choose worthy things to do, and that is all we get--if we’re lucky. I’m sure you’ve heard ‘Life it about the journey, not the destination.’ So you reveal to yourself what kind of person you are by the things you do. One person may flop on the lazyboy with a beer and another may choose to explore something or learn something new--your choice. But neither are hardcore choices for the people who want to do them.
You mentioned eating vegan. If you live that way, it will be normal for you in time. Personally for those that don’t eat vegan I contend they were taught the normal way to eat but not the correct way. Even science has confirmed for us that the majority of the population contributes to its morbidity and mortality simply by not choosing better lifestyle habits. In this instance you can research all the ramifications of both choices, to eat vegan or to eat animals. One choice leads to dietary related disease, pollution, suffering of animals and moral dilemma to name a few. The other choice does not produce these negative effects. If being happy is based on making choices that allow you to live your life in a way that you can be proud of and feel good about then choices are what matters.
For some of us not drinking, not smoking, not eating junk food or watching TV is normal. Personally, I wasn’t taught to be this way, I learned it as an adult. The trick is to figure out what kind of a person you would like to be, without all the pressure to conform, and then start taking steps to be that person. What better things do you have to do with your life? Watch football? Try to get a bigger house than you in-laws? Try to earn more money at a job than your siblings? Or watch twenty hours a week of television from your ‘lazyboy’ and then discuss what happened to some character on a TV program last night with co-workers?
You only go around once and if you make it to your rocker at about seventy years of age you are either going to be satisfied with your choices or making excuses to help minimize the regrets. The choices are your responsibility, the outcomes aren’t. So the chance for happiness comes in the ‘choosing’ how to be.
As far as slipping goes that is normal if you aspire to anything. If you don’t do anything you won’t have to worry about slipping. You shouldn’t do things to feel good about yourself; you should do things because you know they are right. If you get into the habit of doing things because they are right, not because they are normal, I think ‘feeling good about yourself’ will come.
Personal growth is lifelong in my opinion. When you were an infant you needed to grow to a child and then to an adolescent and eventually to a young adult. Some people seem to think that growth stops there. Actually, the best personal development doesn’t even begin until well into adulthood. We should continue the process of development until we die. If you don’t, what is life about—having fun? Having fun is good for a diversion; but it is fleeting. To feel good about yourself and to be content requires doing right things, and again right things may not seem normal at first, but they will if you want them to.
Certainly you should feel accepting and loving of yourself, as long as you are doing your reasonable best. But, there are a lot of things you can do and not do that shouldn’t be acceptable. Trying to live right shouldn’t be hardcore, it should be satisfying. And that includes rest and relaxation too. In fact the more the better, but not at the expense of being the person you want to be. Otherwise it might be just a cop-out.