 I'm out
Thank you guys for all of the input; it's really inspiring to see that there are so many good people out in the world. I connected with everything you guys had to say and especially what was said about maintaining a certain level of positive input to stay balanced. These last few weeks have been really depressing and I have isolated myself from good energy for many reasons (not just this situation). I have a tendency to dwell on my problems at times because it occupies my never quiet mind. My family is just not as healthy for me as I would like. Everyone in my house is hot-headed and looking for their next fight. I have become self doubting and self critical as it relates to my family to compensate for the havoc I wreaked as a teenager. I have this apologetic complex because I was an aggressive teen with rage issues, and now I'm this 25 year old man who's been in therapy for 5 years on and off really trying to be the best person I can be. My father and my two sisters have serious rage issues and I'm the only one that has ever worked at it and this has made me the punching bag; that is why I have no allies in that house. I keep thinking about what I should do and after a long talk with my life coach, I agree with the general message from everyone here. Let her come to me, and the same goes for the rest of my family. I think I spend about 4 months out of a typical year in communication with my sisters. My younger sister lost it when I popped in to pick up some legal docs and made a fax which cut out her DSL, she hasn't talked to me in months. My older sister hasn't spoken to me in a month because I left our mothers front door unlocked, and would not let her finish her rant about security in Beverly Hills. What I'm getting at is, is it possible that everyone with my last name is nuts but me?? This family is not even operating at minimal sanity and frankly, I have enough business, social, and interpersonal work that should be a higher priority.  |