Originally Posted by Ghost Of
I consider it, but it would destroy my mother... I can only imagine her reaction if she would find me dead. WHY can I not take my own life if I want to??
Is this something I can talk to her about without freaking the hell out of her?
You are most certainly right about the impact on your mother. My mother took her own life and the effects on the rest of our family members as well as relatives will be life long. Suicide does not affect just one person, it affects everyone else around for the rest of their lives.
If I were you, I would talk to professionals who are qualified to deal with the issues you are experiencing and your mom would not likely be a qualified pro (correct me if she is in the field).
I think you already know this but perhaps you have to read this for confirmation -- if you are already having suicidal thoughts, you won't get the answers here online. You need to see a health professional immediately who can also set you up with a local support group to talk to. Such issues that you have seldom can be dealt with effectively on your own without professional assistance nor is successful by just hanging out online. Do the right thing and get local professional help.
Good luck to you.