I sorry to hear you don't want to live. I have gone through that a few times. I'm on anti depressant and they are helping. I really did want to live but I wanted the pain to stop.
I glad your talking about it here. I know when I'm feel like that logic and gilt don't seem help much it just push me away. I don't know your mother but I think she would want you to get help sometime it to much for family to deal with, just the fact your afraid that it might freak her out. I get the sense that you have trouble talking and get support you need.
I hope you keep on writing.
Last edited by scotthegeek; 06-30-2011 at 07:54 PM.