Their are 3 levels of responsibilty:
1) Feeling responsible for nothing.
2) Feeling responsible for your results.
3) Feeling responsible for everything.
You should at least be at level 2).
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Does one choose to fall in love with a particular person? If one stays in love with someone that cannot give love to them, is it unhealthy attachment, or depth of feeling?
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For a lot of people falling in love is an unconscious process.
It is your right to fall in love with people how don't return your feelings. It will produce some misery.
Generally misery isn't healty, but it can motivate you to do certain things.
Their are a lot of people addicted to a lot more unhealty things like smoking.
A smoker can also blaim the cigaretts for doing cetain neurological things to his brain with result in him staying a smoker.
To change something it is important for the smoker do feel that it is his responsibilty that he smokes.