A married woman was having an affair, and whenever her lover came over, she put her nine year old son in the closet. One day the woman heard a car in the driveway and put her lover on the closet as well.
Inside the closet, the little boy said, “Its dark in here, isn’t it?”
“Yes it is,” the man replied.
“You wanna buy a baseball?” the little boy asked.
“No, Thanks,” the man replied.
“I think you do,” the little extortionist continued.
“Ok, how much?” the man replied after considering the position he was in.
“Twenty-five dollars,” the little boy said.
“TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!” the man repeated incredulously, but complied to protect his hidden position.
The following week, she heard a car in the driveway and, again, placed her lover in the closet with the little boy.
“Its dark in here, isn’t it?” the boy started off.
“Yes it is”, replied the man.
“Wanna buy a baseball glove?” the little boy asked.
“Ok. How much?” the hiding lover responded, acknowledging his disadvantage.
“Fifty dollars,” the boy replied and the transaction was completed.
The next weekend, the little boy’s father said “Hey, son, go get your ball and glove and we’ll play some catch.”
“I can’t. I sold them,” the little boy said.
“How much did you get for them?” asked the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy.
“Seventy-five dollars,” the little boy said.
The father, being an ethical, God-fearing Christian, and believing the boy had cheated another child, said, “SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS? That’s thievery! I’m taking you to church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness,” as he hauled his son away.
At the church, the little boy went into the confessional, drew the curtain, sat down, and said, “Gee, its dark in here, isn’t it?”
The priest said, “Don’t you start that s**t in here, now.”
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Ohmmmemployment
Two men meet on the street. One asks the other: “Hi, how are you?”
The other replies: “I’m fine, thanks.”
“And how’s your son? Is he still unemployed?”
“Yes, he is. But he is meditating now.”
“Meditating? What’s that?”
“I don’t know. But it’s better than sitting around and doing nothing!”
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I Know What the Bible Means
A father was approached by his small son, who told him proudly, “I know what the Bible means!” His father smiled and replied, “What do you mean, you ‘know’ what the Bible means?” The son replied, “I do know!”
“Okay,” said his father. “So, son, what does the Bible mean?”
“That’s easy, Daddy. It stands for ‘Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.’”
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A small boy desperately wanted a bicycle. So he prayed for one when his birthday came. He did not get one, So he prayed for one at Christmas, but he did not get one. Then he realized that is not how things work, so he stole one and prayed for forgiveness.
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A child at a Christian school was studying the early days of Mormonism in his class. He wrote on his paper,
"The early Mormons believed in having more than one wife. This is called polygamy.
But we believe in having only one wife.
This is called monotony"
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Why did the Mormon woman cross the road?
Who cares ?? -- what was she doing out of the kitchen anyway?  |