Originally Posted by spacecadetglow
I think you're just falling for the wrong men. How soon are you physically intimate with these fellas, danas? Sex too early on can make things reeeeally confusing. It releases chemicals in your brain that make you wanting more of that person, without the requisite emotional/spiritual intimacy. I don't know anything about your connections of course, but this has been the pattern with me and maybe it resonates for you.
I suggest doing some work on your intuition. You probably know right away that they aren't right for you, that they're emotionally unavailable or "just not that into you." People show you who they are all the time, but perhaps you choose to ignore that because you get addicted to those happy chemicals flooding your brain.
You mentioned that as soon as you start showing them who you are and become more open, they run away. Well, so be it. That means they are not right for you. You seem to blame yourself though. Keep being yourself, and I suggest you open up even MORE, and get MORE direct with these guys. It helps you to get clear on what you want.
Don't accept anything less than wonderful. Perhaps because you've been dating the wrong guys for long and always experience pain, you think that is the love is. It's not. Love is not pain. Keep your standards high and be discerning.
Hope this helps!
Thanks you but believe it or not there was no sex! Only long hugs. and even that after many long days together.
Like he described it: First we connected through the mind- we loved eachothers creative work, then we connected through the voice- we had endless things to talk about, and finally we connected through the heart.
He himself said that this is a soul connection because it wasnt just lust...
Thats his description. My intuition told me very strongly after only 3 days that this is my soulmate. I believe we have more than one though.
Last time I connected so deeply with a guy was back in 1994. and that was after many months together.
But- he is married. I couldnt help not falling for him. We spent day and night together, away from our normal lives (and his wife) and as much as I tried it was inevitable. for both of us. Now hes back home, and thats all it was. A love story. A beautiful one. but not one that ends happily ever after together...
The 2 guys before I waited a while before any sex. Longer than they ever did I suspect. Interestingly enough straight after I left the picture, they connected with someone new and now are in long term monogamous relationships.
So these guys are perfectly capable. Its not them... It me.
I have a strong belief in my art and finances that things will work. I take really crazy risks sometimes but I have a deep knowing that it will work. And it ALWAYS does.
Although, I think, until know, I had the exact opposite belief about relationships. I had a deep knowing that it won't
And so it was... But all thats changing know! It will work. It is working and it must work.
thanks to some work with Angela and all the wonderful people here.