I think you're just falling for the wrong men. How soon are you physically intimate with these fellas, danas? Sex too early on can make things reeeeally confusing. It releases chemicals in your brain that make you wanting more of that person, without the requisite emotional/spiritual intimacy. I don't know anything about your connections of course, but this has been the pattern with me and maybe it resonates for you.
I suggest doing some work on your intuition. You probably know right away that they aren't right for you, that they're emotionally unavailable or "just not that into you." People show you who they are all the time, but perhaps you choose to ignore that because you get addicted to those happy chemicals flooding your brain.
You mentioned that as soon as you start showing them who you are and become more open, they run away. Well, so be it. That means they are not right for you. You seem to blame yourself though. Keep being yourself, and I suggest you open up even MORE, and get MORE direct with these guys. It helps you to get clear on what you want.
Don't accept anything less than wonderful. Perhaps because you've been dating the wrong guys for long and always experience pain, you think that is the love is. It's not. Love is not pain. Keep your standards high and be discerning.
Hope this helps!
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