Originally Posted by danas
Loving long term monogamous relationship. That is my goal. When it lasts only a month. again and again, against my will, I need to look deeper and see why that is.
If you're not enjoying the love you have in the now, there's no way you can expect to enjoy it in the nows to come. If you're not enjoying your love, it's not going to conspire to make you happy. I think your preoccupation with the "long term monogamous" part of your goal is interfering with the "loving" part of it, and in my experience interference of that sort results in failure and disappointment.
I think of that failure as a gift, myself, because it always reminds me that "loving" is the only necessary adjective to a relationship. Getting what you want wouldn't change that you're more concerned with the future than you are with your present experience, which would add a sour note to even the most perfect relationship.