Originally Posted by James81
Now, if love is pain for you, then I've got a question for you: when did love first equal pain for you? This thread isn't the first time this has showed up, is it?
I had a breakthrough time technique session with Angela today. Ive done it with her in the past, but somehow this was left over.
We discovered that my core belief isnt that love equals pain. but rather "this wont work." It was a very strong session and so many things started making sense today. Im changing "This wont work" with "This is working perfectly as it should" or something like that.
I realized how so soon in a new relationship I bring in "This wont work" and I start to panic, get emotionally confused and instincty want to cut it.
The other person feels my panic and my strong emotional confusion, and backs off and at that point I panic more and cut them out. We found the core of that one too... I wont go into it here now though, its too long.
Originally Posted by ssandra
As an alternative approach to your dating, a bit more on a logical level:
Do you have a list of "must have" values in your future mate?
If so, instead of falling for someone, dating them, finding out you are compatible/incompatible why not mix it up?
Why not date someone, find out if they are compatible within 2 or 3 dates and move on, or move forward?
You'll still have a chance that things don't work out of course... but at least you'll know at date nr. 1 that he doesn't want kids, before you get emotionally involved with all the feelings and heartache that follows that.
The thing is I havent been "dating" but rather inviting love into my life and when it comes they fit all my list to the T. Spiritual, artistic, honest, curious, wants kids.. etc.. and its too strong for me to back off. It feels so new and good to open up my heart, so i do.
Anyway- now Ive just joined OKcupid and I will start dating.