Originally Posted by danas
Its just torture for me to open up and get close to someone because I feel so much pain when I realize its never gonna happen with my love interest.
What's never gonna happen? Love exists in the present; if there's love, then it's already happening right now. If love is really what's important to you, then it's not something you can lose, because you always have it when it's there to be had.
If love isn't your primary consideration, then maybe that's where your problems are coming from. Love doesn't exist a week from now or a year from now; it's an experience, which can only be had when all experiences are had; in the present. The future is the time when expectations and requirements exist, which have nothing to do with love.
So the good news is that the problems you're having don't come from love. Love=/=pain. Perhaps in your case, a more accurate equation would be expectations -> pain. Marriage isn't love, a long-term relationship isn't love, a monogamous relationship isn't love. They neither create it nor ensure it, and if those things are what you're looking for, then love is never what you'll find.
Edit: Love doesn't have a specific form that it conforms to, so if you look for the forms associated with love then you won't find it. You have to find the love first, and then watch to see what form it takes.