Differences between Men and Women:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
A man will pay two dollars for a one-dollar item he wants.
A woman will pay one dollar for a two-dollar item that she doesn't want.
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
Why do men like love at first site?
It saves them a lot of time.
How does a man show he's planning for the Future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
How is being at a singles bar different from going to a circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.
Why do men chase women when they have no intentiom of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, and don't work half time.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A. A dog is always happy to see you.
B. A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.
How is a man like a snowstorm?
Because you don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.
What do call an intelligent man in America?
A tourist.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
Because they already have boyfriends.
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